We have a fundraiser!

Just on the off chance that someone might be reading this who isn't on my social media, I wanted to share this here too. We have set up a YouCaring online fundraising account to help defer some of the cost of going to CA to see a top expert TN neurosurgeon. Ill continue to post updates there if you are interested in the details. Any amount of help we can get can alleviate some of the burden this whole thing places on our family. It's a step in the direction we feel like we should at least pursue right now. Thank you so much for all your love, support and understanding. Some of you have been reading this blog since 2007! It's been a crazy ride thus far! Thanks for being my traveling companions.:) And feel free to share this fundraiser thing far and wide. Please! Thank you!  

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-kristen-case-conquer-trigeminal-neuralgia-/338918#.VTkRTakG8sU.mailto

NPM: Poem #7

Well, I'm feeling a bit discouraged by the lack of feedback on the last poems I've posted, so I probably won't continue this little project. I'm not in a good enough head space to post my silly poems and not get any response, as dumb as that might be. Which I probably should have already known and anticipated before I even started, which would have reminded me that this wasn't a good idea for me right now to do this. But yeah, I guess I didn't. 

But anyway here's one more, at least. Semi recent. Written from bed on a bad day. 

Time 

ticking by 

and here I am 

still here

still here 

Days 

going by 

and here I am 

still here 

still here 

I haven't moved 

barely breathed 

still here

still this 

It never leaves 

Here I am 

breathe in 

breathe out 

breathe in 

It's all I do

My life 

passing by 

I watch it go 

and here I am

still here 

still here 

still here 

National Poetry Month: poem #6

This is one of my all time favorites. It comes to mind often. I guess I have struggles in keeping perspective... ;) 

Walking Backwards 

by Kristen 

retracing every step
slowly, slowly
I know I left it here
somewhere
where did I have it
last?
going back in time
remembering
trying to remember
just where it is
I left it.
Stumbling slowly
slowly
walking backwards
searching in every place, every corner
trying to find, discover
where it is that
I lost
perspective.

National Poetry Month: Poem #5 Easter

On Easter Sunday, I thought I'd share this poem with you. It's inspired by the bible story of The Prodigal Son, which is a story of returning Home, turning away from sin and being welcomed again with open arms. And that, to me, is the story of Easter. That because of Jesus Christ and what He did for us, we can return home again. We can be forgiven for any wrong we have done. We can be healed. We are always loved and always welcomed to our Father's arms. This is what I believe. Happy Easter. 

prodigal
by Kristen 

when you come, I will
put on the bandages
and I will bring you soup
in bed and I won't ask
you where you've been and
how you've become so
worn and wounded
Just come home and I will
help you heal
Come to me and I will love
you

National Poetry Month: Poems #2, #3, #4

How about some more poems for National Poetry Month? I think I'm going to shoot for 30 poems this month - we'll see! 

 I've been miserable with a combination of a possible cold and allergies this past week so these 3 seem apropos. I guess my allergies were a recurring theme in my poetry.;) 

(Also I can't decide if I want to divulge when I wrote stuff. I don't know if I want people to speculate too much about what I was writing about, so I'm thinking maybe I'll just keep the dates to myself. Leave you guessing. Maybe it will be obvious which ones are more recent, as I hope maybe I've matured a little bit since middle school. But maybe not. Hahaha). 

Hope you enjoy these! 

Self-Esteem During Allergy Season 

By Kristen 

it's more than make-up
and hairstyle and shoes
it's more than confidence
and clothes
It's hard to feel good
about what I possess
inside
when it's all dripping
out of my nose.

DRIP (Lamentation of a Sneezer)

By Kristen 

Don't you sometimes
want to let your
nose just drip
and drip
without even trying to sniffle it
or catch it
with a well-worn, well-used
tissue,
crumpled, torn and disgusting
Don't you sometimes
want to let it
drip
when no one else it around
(after all,
who's to know?)
when your nose is red
and raw
and sore
and it feels like it's going to
explode
at any minute
oh, how much better it would
be to let it drip
than to go through the
agony
of wiping it.

sneezy

by Kristen 

Just call me sneezy
and I’ll share my life with you
I sneeze and wheeze and sniffle and cough
the whole entire day through
Just give me a bunch of tissues
and I’ll give you a thought to think
I promise you I’ll use them up
before you have time to wink
“Bless you!” “Bless you!” “Gesundheit!”
good grief
all the blessings in the world
won’t bring me my relief
So I sneeze and wheeze and sniffle and cough
the entire day through
while you bless me to your hearts content
and feel glad this isn’t you
So give me boxes of tissues for Christmas
I’ll be very happy
watch my nostrils quiver and queasy
have a nice day
just call me sneezy.

Poetry Month

So I became aware that April is National Poetry Month! Whee what fun. And I've just sort of decided that I would post some of my poetry for you all in celebration. Yay for you! I don't claim to be a wonderful poet but, I guess you couild say I was known in the High School Literary Magazine as a prolific poet. In other words, whatever I may lack in quality, I make up for in quantity. At least I used to. Now I write less frequently. But anyway. To start off, here is one of my more recent ones. I have been struggling a lot lately, feeling stuck in a rather dark spot. I don't really feel like expounding much more than that.
But here it is (kind comments very much appreciated!! please let me know someone is reading this):

Waiting through the dark
by Kristen

I guess I cannot be rushed
I can't be forced
I cannot.
Although all I see is darkness
all I feel is pressure
all I am is small
and closed
and cold.
When the time is right
I will feel it
I will begin to push my
way upward
through dark, still, damp
soil
I will feel myself begin to reach
towards warmth
and light
and freedom,
where I will be bright
and lovely
and good.
I will be.
I feel it.
But I cannot be rushed.
I cannot be forced.
In my time . . .
I trust it,
I will be more than I am right now.
More than just a seed
here in the darkness,
waiting.
I will grow.
I will become.
I will wait here in darkness,
For spring.