Inside Outside Upside-Down

February Photo-A-Day - plus some more

2012-02-05T21:41:00.009-07:00

Just some pics I've posted recently on facebook (yes I'm back again), twitter, and Instagram. I actually quite like them though, so yes, I need them on my blog too. ;)

I also decided to try to do this:

I started on the 2nd day but backtracked and took the pic for Day 1: your view today

out our front window

Day 2: Words

those are the words that kept going through my head (part of the MRI report)

Day 3: Hands

Elisabeth playing

Day 4: stranger

went a little symbolic on this one using this song lyric as the background for the photo: "You're a stranger now unto me" - Simon and Garfunkel

Day 5: 10:00

this is actually 9:00 but close enough: Going to church

And some more of my recent Instagram funzies:

(and a quick update: still having mostly the ear and eye pain. The neurotologist I saw on Fri (ENT specializing in nerves) referred me off to a neurologist without much help or clarification. Anyway, more on that another time. It makes me tired just thinking about it. sigh.)

the good news is . . .

2012-02-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

Look! I have a brain!

Proof even, in case there was ever any doubt. ;)

(no comments on the funny shape of my head or anything, please. I just think it's sorta cool to have a picture of my brain. It's normal, I promise. Or so they tell me. Or at least I think that's what they said. Mostly. haha.)

Anyway.
The bad news is there is something going on in there that is causing me trigeminal nerve pain and I am not completely sure what it is. As far as I know right now, it could be some kind of small tumor, or it could just be neuritis, which is inflammation of the nerve.

I spent Mon and Tues in the most frustrating process of getting the MRI results that I could have ever even imagined. Ugh. And the Dr is now retired. ugh ugh ugh. I can't even think about it all right now, but I might write about the whole experience sometime soon. Just to vent.

I hope to have more definitive answers very soon.
Just thought I'd give the short version update.

So, I've mostly been a wreck this week. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on much of anything (even reading! ack), or do much of anything, or anything really. The combination of the constant pain, the many frustrations, this new medication he gave me to try causing excessive sleepiness, the worrying about what's really going on . . . well, it just hasn't been a good week at all.

And that's all.

Book Addict: Final Total for 2011, favorites, etc

2012-01-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

My final total of books read in 2011 was . . .

103!

This is actually the first time since I've been keeping track that I haven't read more than I read the year before. But really, I'm ok with that. ;)

The months I read the most this year were tied March and April with 13 each.

And the least was August when I only read 4.

Averaging 8.3 books a month - pretty good, I'd say.

Some other useless statistics:

# of non-fiction books: 40

youth/childrens: 7

books of poetry: 2

"classics": 5

Winner for Most Pages in a single book: 1011 (Gone with the Wind)

(Runners-up: Scarlett 896, The Thorn Birds 692 and The Tenant of Wildfell Hall 520)

Winner for Learning about Something I Knew Absolutely Nothing About: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot (HeLa "immortal" human cells)

Winners for Least Favorite Classic Novels: Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell and On the Road by Jack Kerouac

Book I Most Want to Buy and Reread and Mark and Underline: The Power of Kindness by Piero Ferucci

Book I Recommended for Bookclub: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

Most Unexpected Favorite: Gone With the Wind

The Book I Wish I Could Tell Everyone to Read: Undoing Depression by Richard O Connor

Books I Read After I Saw the Movie (and which I thought was better): About a Boy (both about the same), Everything is Illuminated (movie was actually better)

Movies I Saw After I Read the Book: One Day (toss-up, I think I liked the movie better), Gone With The Wind (book so much better)

A lot of times people ask me what kind of books I like to read or what I like to read about and I'm often stumped by that question. It's easier I suppose to limit it to what I don't feel particularly drawn to read: murder mysteries, action/adventure, horror, romance . . . stuff like that. As a general rule, I avoid blood and guts and steamy romance. Other than that, I'll read just about anything.

Some of the things I read about last year (just for fun):

Non-Fiction

linguistics relationships and family writing Holocaust music nature/science weird science depression/mental health/grief/happiness ADHD, Aspergers etc health and fitness

housework addiction religion prisoners of war food play and recreation

Fiction

Frank Lloyd Wright a love affair with a monk Chinese foot-binding traditions midwives time travel and strange children magicians Charles and Catherine Dickens love immigrants dystopian future Trinidad racial segregation journalism crazy musicians cowboys

(just a sample of examples)

And here are some of my favorites I'd recommend from the books I read last year:

1. The History Of Love - Nicole Krauss

2. The Writing Life - Annie Dillard

3. The Power of Kindness - Piero Ferucci

4. The Gifts of Imperfection - Brene Brown

5. Unbroken - Laura Hillenbrand

6. The Lover's Dictionary - David Levithan

7. Girl in a Blue Dress - Gaynor Arnold

8. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake - Aimee Bender

9. Major Pettigrew's Last Stand - Helen Simonson

10. The Tower, The Zoo and The Tortoise - Julia Stuart

11. The Memory Palace - Mira Bartok

Go check out my Goodreads Profile here for the complete list of books I've read (and currently reading), ratings, reviews and all that good stuff. Seriously. Goodreads is where it's at, folks. :)

Anyway.

What about you? Have you read any of those? Are you reading anything good? Got something to recommend to me, something you want me to read and talk about?

It's been awhile since we've talked books. Let's do it!:)

hey look, it's us!

2012-01-29T16:52:00.002-07:00

We had a family portrait taken for the first time in about 5 years. I won't even try to expound on how difficult it is to get a picture of all of us together where everyone is smiling at the camera etc. Ah well. We take what we can get! :)

Abigail, age 12
Isaac, age 10
Samuel, age 7
Elisabeth, age 5

me and Zac, getting older

so, maybe it was just the drugs . . .

2012-01-26T19:06:00.003-07:00

but I actually found the whole MRI process oddly comforting and relaxing.

The cozy warm blanket they covered me with. The soft cushions on the sides of my head. The rhythmic thump-thump-thumping and whooshing and clicking, along with periodic slight vibrating. I think I almost took a nap (since I very determinedly kept my eyes shut the entire time).

But . . . it might have just been that nice friend Valium giving me that impression. ;)

(Turned out I couldn't listen to music after all, because of the cushioned helmet thing they had to put on my head to scan my brain. And I couldn't drive for 12 hrs afterwards, so we had to call the school and tell the kids to walk home. And I conked out completely for no less than 4 hours when we got home. But hey, it was a nice fuzzy heavy (and maybe slightly dizzy) relaxed nap. Nice Valium, Good Valium. haha)

I should get the results soon. I'll keep ya posted . . .

(more details for anyone curious about getting an MRI: I had heavy duty earplugs in to dull the noise. And I got an IV of contrasting dye that got to my brain surprisingly fast. But it still didn't bother me all too much. ha) ;)

MRI playlist

2012-01-25T21:48:00.004-07:00

well . . . what to listen to and think about when you know you're going to be confined in a tight tube and can't move or open your eyes for possibly as long as an hour?!?

hmmm . . . I'll let you know what I come up with.

(yes, going in for an MRI for my headaches/ear/eye pain tomorrow morning. Hoping to find some answers. They told me I could bring music. They're also giving me Valium. That could be interesting . . .)

more later . . .

2011 Year In Review: Photo Collage Edition

2012-01-23T10:47:00.013-07:00

Christmas 2011

2012-01-22T17:58:00.002-07:00

the back side of the moon

2012-01-20T12:16:00.004-07:00

Well, you know how when the astronauts orbit the moon in the movies, they start coming around the back side of the moon and they count down as they are about to lose communication with earth. And then the command central waits for the amount of time that the orbit should take until they come back into signal range and communication is restored.

I am orbiting around the back side of the moon.

For those that don't already know, I have temporarily deactivated my facebook account and most probably permanently deleted my twitter account (haven't decided yet). I am coming around onto the far side. Maybe just to see what it's like over there. Maybe just for some quiet. Maybe just to see if I can. Maybe because it is something I really need to do. My reasons are varied and deep and personal.

I have no doubt that I will come out on the other side and "reestablish communication." The signal will pick back up. I'll be back on Facebook. I'm not sure when though (to quote Eyeore, "days, weeks, months, who knows"). I need the time and space and distance to feel comfortable in my own silence again. I don't know how long that will take. And I deactivated it just to make it harder for myself to get back on (because I know I have no self-control) and I wanted it to be completely clear to anyone else trying to find me or get in touch with me that FB isn't going to work for awhile.

I am just hoping there are still people who read this blog without waiting for the posts on FB. I hope. But I guess it doesn't really matter. I will still be blogging . . . for whoever reads it.

So. No need to worry. I trust FB and everything I really do love about it (because I really do love it) will still be there when I come back. I just need to trust in my own ability to navigate this orbit without any feedback or FB news feeds.;) I need to learn to trust myself.

(And I know there is no need for me to feel like I should explain myself, really, but it felt like a big and drastic step to me, for whatever reason, so I wanted to offer at least something to those who may wonder why.)

ok, enough of that.

Keep in touch! Comments here, email, phone calls, old fashioned snail mail, iphone texting, knocks on my front door . . . there are still lots of ways to contact me, so no excuses!;)
Catch ya on the flip side FB friends!

headache update

2012-01-18T12:08:00.002-07:00

- went to the Dr yesterday. Ended up seeing the nurse-practitioner of something because she could get me in.

- she said it didn't sound like "typical" migraines so she was going to prescribe some other pain meds

- the other pain meds all had some interaction with the other meds I take

- so she ended up giving a sample of migraine meds just in case it's an "atypical" migraine (2 doses)

- looking at the insert I noticed it also has the same drug interaction that the other meds have that she was concerned about

- so I called her back, twice, and talked to a pharmacist

- decided to take it yesterday in the evening

- not sure if it helped. Thought maybe it did.

- took another this morning. It's definitely not helping. That's the last of the sample.

- So. I'm on Day 10 of headaches from hell. 10 Days straight, people. No answers. Nothing helps. Not happy.

- might go back to the Dr, although she didn't really give me any ideas on what we would do next.

The End.
:(

ouch

2012-01-16T22:40:00.003-07:00

ok, so I don't technically know if what I'm experiencing is migraines. But man. That illustration is a pretty accurate description of what it feels like. Especially behind my one eye. And it hurts even more when I move, so I try to lie very still in bed when it strikes. And sometimes it seems to come and go for days and days. Which means I spend a lot of time in bed, for days. Which means I then feel guilty for all the time I am spending in bed. Which, argh, just isn't very much fun all around. I don't even feel like writing in complete sentences (gee, can you tell?). I don't feel like blogging. Or doing much of anything, really. But I'm considering going to see a Dr, perhaps. I'm debating it. I'm also still getting that crazy nerve pain in my left ear, which the ENT thought was most possibly Trigeminal Neuralgia, but I never did really figure that out. It comes and goes but hasn't "worsened" per se, so I have mostly just tried to ignore it as much as I can. But sometimes, I have the awful one-sided headache, plus the eye pain, plus the ear pain. And I pretty much want to curl up and die. Well, not really. But sort of.
So.
That's me right now.
Off and on for the last week or so.

Someday I really will catch up my Christmas posts and all the end of year summations and all of that. I promise. I just need to not be experiencing this monster headache in order to do that. Ugh.

Any advice on headaches, with eye pain in particular? Anyone? Or anyone have some really good jokes or stories or something to distract me from the pain? Anyone out there at all? hello?! haha. ok.
love to you all. Thanks for listening to me moan and groan and complain.

some extra special sibling love (Christmas, part one)

2012-01-12T17:33:00.005-07:00

My family continues a tradition of drawing names for Christmas gift exchanges between siblings. Even though we are spread throughout the country (Washington, California, Idaho, Utah and Virginia) my mom draws the names, lets everyone know, wishlists are shared, gifts purchased and then shipped hither and yon where they are even sometimes received in time for the holiday! ;)

I had the extra special privilege of receiving a gift this year from my little sister Melissa. Extra Special, you see, because she hand knits these really cool handmuffs and sells them. She did a giveaway on her blog for one a few months ago, and of course I entered, but I didn't win. Boooo. But then, she gave me one for my sibling present! Yay!!:) I love it!!

She also included these other fun little presents, which I include in this little photo montage out of thoroughness and to express my appreciation and thanks to her publicly. Such fun.

So, go visit her very cool blog at Drop and Anchor and tell her I sent you. haha. And go to her etsy shop here to buy a cozy and adorable hand muff of your very own (she'll custom design one just for you if you want!).

Also, Zac's older sister (who is coincidentally also named Melissa) sent us a huge box of Tasty Kakes in celebration of our upcoming vacation to New Jersey this summer (where Zac grew up and where she still lives). Tasty Kakes are apparently only available on the East Coast - so this was to give us a taste (harhar, sorry couldn't resist) of all the sweet yummy goodness and fun to come! (Note: this trip is a really big deal because Zac has not been "home" to NJ for . . . uhhh maybe 10 yrs? And some of our kids have never even met their NJ cousins. And nearly all of Zac's family will be together for the first time in many many years. Anyway, it's been a long time in the planning. We are very excited!)

So, that was some of our Christmastime extended sibling love. More to come . . .

my favorite (a Christmas preview)

2012-01-09T16:00:00.003-07:00

ok, is this not the absolute most adorable little thing you've ever seen??

I gave it to Elisabeth in her stocking, for her love of jewelry and my love of snails.

Makes me smile every time I even think about it. :)

Post about Christmas coming up soon~!

Birthdays and Anniversaries

2012-01-08T22:10:00.005-07:00

(more December catch-up - with my birthday thrown in for good measure)

As if December isn't busy enough with all the holiday stuff going on, we also have Zac's birthday to celebrate:

And our wedding anniversary (say what you will about the insanity about getting married during the holidays, it was a beautiful time to get married. And it was either December or May. And there was no way we were waiting til May, people.) :)

(our traditional celebratory non-alcoholic sparkling juice, since we don't drink alcohol. Blueberry grape was a tasty new treat.)

And, well, you know how there are traditional gift themes for each anniversary, right? Like the first year is paper or something . . . I don't know what they all are. But just for fun, to do something different this year in the midst of holiday hustle and bustle, I thought it'd be fun to exchange sort of gag gifts related to 14 yr Anniversary theme. Turns out the theme is Ivory. Hm. So.

What you see above is an elephant soap dish that Zac discovered (elephant = ivory - get it?). And all that kept coming to my mind is this quote I've kept seeing on Pinterest:

Hahaha, I almost printed it out to give to Zac, but . . . didn't (I still think it's funny though). And we went out to dinner, too, which was nice, but the restaurant was crazy busy. Oh well.

And here is our new annual Christmas ornament in honor of our hot air balloon ride that was technically a gift for last year's anniversary:

And then . . . after we get through all of that (Zac's bday, anniversary, Christmas, and New Year's), then comes my birthday (as you already know)!

So here are some pics from my birthday, just thrown in for fun.

(what?! You know, just tweeting a pic real quick while everyone waits for me to blow out the candles. Hahaha.)

Perhaps one of my favorite gifts: ;)

And there you have it. More celebrating at our house than you can even imagine! Sort of.

(PS - I was sick in bed on New Year's Eve. Which means Zac was in charge of all of the celebrating. This means all 4 kids stayed up until midnight (yikes) and they all had a really great time with Dad (of course). But no pictures. So no blog post. haha. Oh well.)

December Recitals (in no particular order)

2012-01-08T21:22:00.007-07:00

(catching up December)

(this picture belongs at the bottom but I accidentally erased it and now blogger is being a pain to move it back to where it belongs, so here it stays, sorry):

These cute kids at our church Christmas dinner: :)

Samuel and Elisabeth showing off their antlers:

Elisabeth post-Kindergarten-Christmas-Program:

Isaac (in bright striped sweater) waiting to begin the traditional 5th grade holiday flashlight show:

Elisabeth and friends watching their older siblings perform:

Samuel (in bright green/blue knit hat) getting ready to sing:

Elisabeth performing in the Kindergarten program:

Isaac had his annual Christmas piano recital:

Abigail performed a Christmas school orchestra concert:

And she also had a violin Christmas party where she performed for the other students of her teacher - but it was students only, so I don't have pictures. Her teacher is copying the performance for us though. She played Pachelbel's Canon in D with a 14 yr old boy and I arrived as they were practicing it together over and over (after the party was over), still trying to get it right (it was pretty challenging for them). It was pretty cute.:) And, of course, Pachelbel's Canon is one of my favorite songs (or it was, until it got corralled into strange Christmas song arrangements and completely overplayed on the light rock stations all season long. Ahem - anyway). I am thrilled that my daughter can play it now!! That means we can play it together! And me, my mom, and my daughter can play it together! (it's best as a trio anyhow) And that's 3 generations of violinists right there in our family!:)

Anyway - busy month of performances! They all did a fantastic job. I'm so proud of them. (phew! getting through December! Just you wait, I'll get caught up if it kills me!) ;)

Spa Day

2012-01-08T15:48:00.005-07:00

(Catching up: December 13 2011)

My little sister Heather came down from Tacoma, Washington for a visit earlier in December and on Tues we planned a girl's day out to The Cliff Spa at Snowbird Ski Resort. We had actually given my mom a handwritten group "gift certificate" to go up there for a day for Christmas last year, or the year before (?) but we had never done it, so this was a long overdue plan. We really wanted to make it work out.Scheduling babysitters and coordinating schedules of my kids' comings and goings made it tricky - and then it started snowing, which was making me nervous (I don't like driving up the canyons much, and I really don't like driving in snow - put the two together and I usually just don't drive). But I made it! Hooray!

Here are my niece Chelsea, sister Heather (not Chelsea's mom), and my mom. All robed up and cozy.

They had a hot tub and a heated pool outside in this courtyard area. So, of course we tried it out.
Despite the icy wind and snow on the ground.

The hot tub was pretty nice.

The pool was . . . really cold (surprise!). Hahaha.

Anyway, back inside we then spent a lot of time relaxing in the "solarium," drinking herbal tea and listening to calming music, with this beautiful view of the mountain outside.

And we could watch the skiiers, too (see those specks?).

And here's me, trying my best to look contemplative and relaxed. ;)

We also tried out the eucalyptus steam room. yummy.

And my sister gave me these awesome reading bookmarks with spaces to take notes, just because she loves me and knows just what I love. :)

Last photos outside:

And a last look at the spa:

And then, if you look underneath the setting sun in that photo you can kind of see a dark wall of clouds settling in between the mountains. Yeah. That was the dense fog that we drove into all the way down the canyon. I could only see about 10 ft in front of me at any one time and it was sort of freaking me out, as I wound my way down the mountain. Thank goodness I was already feeling calm from our lovely day or I might have had a (more) major panic attack. But I made it safely (if slowly) and got home in time to take Abigail where she needed to be that evening, so it all worked out.

All in all, it was a refreshing and wonderful time and I'm glad I got to share it with some of the beautiful women of my family. :)

Outgrow birthdays?!?

2012-01-06T08:14:00.004-07:00

No, never.

Why should I?

If anything, I should think I certainly have more to celebrate about myself and my life now than I did when I was five.

Although, admittedly, that was a pretty awesome cake. ;)

Happy Birthday to meeeee!

Is Blogging Dead?

2012-01-04T21:19:00.003-07:00

Just a little reminder for me at the beginning of this year, when I'm feeling so behind anyhow and I'm back to wondering how much my babbling little blog matters to anyone but myself. I have to even remind Zac to read it (hey did you read my new post yet? hm, hm? noo?). Ah, anyway.

Here we go:

Read this lovely post if you're wondering (as I sometimes am) why I'm still at it. ;) It articulates my feelings on the matter very nicely. And no, blogging is not dead. At least not on my blog. haha.

And, as you know, any comments of support and encouragement and compliments are always always appreciated. And craved. And needed.

Thanks a bunch, friends. I so appreciate your listening ears and willingness to read along.

The Embryo

2011-12-31T11:38:00.003-07:00

- by Carol Lynn Pearson

Love is no eagle
Strong amid
The heights.
It is an egg -
A fertile,
Fragile
Possibility.
Hold it warm
Within your wing,
Beneath your breast.

Perhaps in heaven
Love can live
Self-nourished,
Free.
But in this world,
Where mountains fall
and east winds blow,
Oh, careful -
Love is embryo.
---------------------------------------------------------
(going into this new year, I am pondering the embryos I am nurturing in my life, where more care should be taken, what needs more nourishment, etc. I guess whenever I think of relationships and how much we need to care for and work for them, this poem comes to mind, so I thought I'd share. {I had to dig through some old High School papers to find my old copy of this - haha. It was just stuck in my head and I needed to look for it.}) Also, this quote I ran across the other day:

"Human beings are born into this little span of life of which the best thing is its friendship and intimacies, and soon their places will know them no more, and yet they leave their friendships and intimacies with no cultivation, to grow as they will by the roadside, expecting them to "keep" by force of inertia." - William James

What's on your mind this New Year's?

a winter's walk

2011-12-29T11:45:00.007-07:00

Just a few random thoughts and pics from a walk:

- We had a really lovely Christmas. We really did. And I have a ton of posts backed up in my brain to write.

-But temps in the 30's meant I could walk outside yesterday and not freeze my tail off. It started off sunny, then the clouds from the distance rolled in. But I loved my walk - and taking pictures along the way. Hope you enjoy them.

- This is a hard time of year for me. I was doing really well, just in general, until I started thinking about this past year and the things I had wanted to accomplish. And when I start thinking about where my life is going and things that I need to change, it is really really hard for me not to get discouraged. Both the evaluating and the looking ahead processes are hard for me at the moment. Ugh. New Years. Perhaps I should skip it. But it is so in my nature to reflect, and assess, and make lists, and goals, and want to feel like I am doing ok in a measurable and meaningful way. It's not something I let go of easily.

- I love seeing the fun, quirky and imaginative things my kids do and I want to be a fun mom and do fun creative things with them and love this extra time with them. But at the same time they are driving me absolutely bonkers. Seriously. And I am not the mom I want to be.

- And why is it that I seem to have this capacity (and need) for almost endless sleep??? I've been sleeping approx. 10 hrs every night easily and still sleepy and ready for a 2 hr nap in the afternoon. I seem to never feel rested and energetic no matter how much sleep I get. It is unfortunate, really.

Anyway - well. There's that. Seems there might be a little symbolic significance to the progression of sunlight to cloudiness reflected in these photos. haha. Now if only to find a way to disperse the clouds . . . hmm . . .

How is winter treating you?

Merry Christmas to you all!

2011-12-23T10:49:00.003-07:00

We're not getting Christmas cards out this year, so here are our greetings instead. Hope you like it!

A photo from our church Christmas party family photo booth:

And a screenshot from our wonderful holiday greeting video:

Go here to see our cute little video.

Wishing you and yours peace and joy and all that is the best of this season. :)

(I'll be doing some major blog catch-up in some of the quiet(er) moments after Christmas. See you then!)

14 years

2011-12-21T15:28:00.003-07:00

" you are my delight

and my comfort all night

and I'd wrap you up tight

in my arms . . . "

- from Niamh Parsons,

"An Paistin Fionn"

Happy Anniversary, Zac.

(go here to hear the song this quote comes from. It's one of my very favorites.)

( PS - I've been blogging for 5 yrs now (!!) and posted wedding pics for each of our anniversaries in that time. I'm working on transferring my older posts from the old blog into this one so you can see them all. Because I know you want to.) ;)

a day in the life

2011-12-15T11:28:00.004-07:00

Yesterday just seemed like I was driving back and forth all over the place all day long. And as I sat and thought about it, I really had been. Want to see? Yes, of course you do.
Here was my day:

8:00 drive kids to school
drive home
call Dr about pain Isaac was having in his groin
9:15 go to zumba
drive home
11 go pick up Elisabeth
come home
11:30 go pick up Isaac and check him out from school early
go to Dr, he sent us over to the hospital for an ultrasound
12:30 grab some fast food lunch on the way to the hospital
1:30 ultrasound for Isaac's pain issue (everything looked normal)
2:30 go home
2:45 pick up Samuel from school
home again
nap for 20 min.
3:30 send Isaac off to piano lesson
3:45 take Elisabeth to dance class
4:45 back home
start dinner
5:30 take Abigail to violin Christmas party
home again
6:30 go pick up Abigail, wait 30 min for the party to finish
back home to pick up a white elephant gift
7 drive Abigail to church youth group
back home

And in case you're wondering what Zac was doing during those evening run-arounds, he stopped at the store to pick up Isaac's prescription for an antibiotic (in case there was an infection causing his pain). Then he helped Samuel and Elisabeth with their homework while I played chauffeur, etc. And cleaned up dinner. Then we both got the kids to bed.

And that, my friends, is a day in our life (or a part of it anyway). Wasn't that fun? ;)

Third Advent (and weekend fun)

2011-12-12T21:09:00.009-07:00

My sister Heather came for a little visit from Tacoma, Washington. She is staying with my mom until Tues so we tried to spend some time with her over the weekend. First up, The Muppet Movie (with all of us, Heather, Chelsea and mom).

I thought it was simply hilarious. The kids liked it too.

Chelsea and Heather:)

Then we went to see the Lights at Temple Square (pictured: the Salt Lake City Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints). Mom and Lowell, Chelsea, Heather and our family all went.

I was trying to figure out my iphone camera, not always succesfully. But there's a blurry shot of Chelsea, me and Heather.

And a cute picture of my girls with Aunt Heather.

Lights! Besides Samuel being bound and determined to get himself lost in the crazy crowds, and causing everyone quite a bit of stress and frustration, it was pretty fun.

And then Heather and mom came over on Sunday to join us for dinner and our Advent fun.

Samuel had a photo heyday with Heather's camera. He is quite the fledgling photographer, that boy.

And we played Apples to Apples Jr and a very cool Truth or Dare card game that I bought for myself for Christmas last year.

And lots of fun photo ops. :)

(ps - have I mentioned how much fun I am having with my iphone? all these fun edits on an app called Camera+. yay! And don't even try to tell me I'm just getting carried away . . . because I won't hear you.) ;)

Anyway - loved having a chance to visit with my littlest sister. This is the first time she has lived out of state so we miss having her around. Hoping to see her again tomorrow before she hops on plane in the evening!

christmas dance recital

2011-12-09T21:07:00.004-07:00

Last weekend Elisabeth had her first Christmas dance recital, or open house. She takes a combo class that does 15 min each of tap, ballet and tumbling. Sometimes she really loves it. Other times she throws a fit and doesn't want to get dressed to go and says she hates it. Whatever.

Her little dances were really cute though. And she was very excited to have her own recital!

Abigail cried when we entered the studio and she saw the names of her previous classmates on the program (but they performed in a session before Elisabeth's so we didn't actually see them). It was so hard to see Abigail so heart-broken - but, oh I don't know. We're just doing the best we can with the resources we have. ugh.

So, here is Elisabeth!!

I think tumbling is her favorite part (and also her strongest suit) so too bad they didn't get to show that off for us, but it was really cute to see her perform.

I am considering switching her to solely gymnastics in the future because I think she would do fantastic, but we'll see. It'd be further away to do that and lots of factors to consider (not the least of which is this tricky balance between activities for all the kids).

For those of you who are my FB friends, take a peek at the youtube video of her dances there!:)

Second Advent

2011-12-04T22:51:00.003-07:00

Today for Advent we made homemade hot chocolate and coffee cake, sang some carols, watched (most of) a Christmas devotional, and some other Christmas videos and drew names for our annual family Secret Person exchange. This year we're just doing service and simple homemade gifts (if we can manage it) for our Secret Person - and just the kids are doing it for each other so Zac and I can concentrate our efforts on helping and making sure everyone is receiving some kind of service.;)

On some other notes, I keep finding more and more and more fun apps on my phone and I just want to talk about it all the time because I'm just so excited. I'm blown away by it all - seriously. So much fun, useful, helpful, educational, organizational and fantastical stuff!!! WOW!:) I need a weekly budget for all the apps I want to buy. And I'm getting nervous about the 8 gb capacity on my phone. haha. I think I'll be able to restrain myself. We'll see. I just might have to get selective at some point. That might be a good thing.

And this is the month of recitals and concerts and Christmas programs. Lots of kid updates in that regard coming your way!!:)

And I am finally getting into Christmas mode. Hooray! Shopping is just about done. Planning begun for Zac and my birthdays and our anniversary. I can listen to the Christmas music on the radio now and not immediately cringe and change it. I've almost reached 100 books read for the year (only 1 more!!!). Things are feeling good.

Also, did you know that Amazon music has a free holiday song every day for this month?? Quite exciting. Go check it out.:)

random thoughts on this year's IEP stuff

2011-11-30T22:46:00.004-07:00

I'm not sure I can organize my thoughts in any reasonable fashion, so I'm just going to spew forth some randomness and hope for the best.

Quick catch-up for any newcomers . . . well, no let's just do this: if you're new to this blog and this whole special needs journey we've been through, take a browse through the posts labeled "special needs" on my sidebar. That will help. There's still some holes since I switched from a blog with real names (which is now inactive and privatized) to this blog with fake names - so there are a whole lot of posts that haven't made their way over here. But, oh goodness. For all the time it took me to write all that, I could have just summarized the whole thing. Hmph. Oh well.

Anyway, this year Samuel was mainstreamed, and he got into the charter school with his siblings (as opposed to the self-contained special needs class he was in last year in the public school) and we held him back a year. They decided to re-assess him to better be able to see where he's at and how he's doing and what kind of services he needs. All that stuff. For his "Individualized Education Plan" (IEP).

So, essentially, the interesting parts of this were that the teacher sees the well-behaved quiet cooperative Samuel - or what I interpret as the anxiety overriding his ADHD. When he meets one-on-one with the specialty teachers though (and the psychologist who did the testing), they see the hyper, easily distracted, can't keep still and concentrate on anything Samuel. This was a huge relief to me, though, that these specialty teachers are seeing what we see at home. I'm not crazy after all!! And it fits with what we think is going on. With why we think he behaves so differently in those 2 different settings. We think the bigger group just makes him anxious and he is able, somehow, to suppress the ADHD in those situations. In some ways, it is good that he is able to do that. In other ways, I still think he's needing to use a whole lot of mental energy to maintain that. So far that's not affecting his school performance. So they're not concerned about it. It makes for some really crazy times at home though. Sigh.

Anyway - he is right where he needs to be for the grade level he is in. They all agreed that this decision to retain him was good for him. He is more confident than I have seen him before. He participates in class. He fits in socially and physically. And he is so happy to be at the same school as his siblings. He plays with Elisabeth at recess and does great with going into school with them and meeting Isaac afterschool. He does his homework. He just seems to be doing well and it is such a huge relief to me.

The cognitive testing showed that he has a strength in processing speed, which means when he knows something, he can work through a task really quick. He has a weakness in one of the memory recall areas (can't remember the technical name). But the areas where he showed issues weren't statistically significant to qualify as any sort of learning disability. But he has obvious struggles with speech and language (some receptive, mostly expressive). He's in about the 3rd percentile. Meaning 97% of kids his age speak more clearly than he does.

So we've reclassified him as Speech Language Impairment instead of Developmental Delay. I have been nervous about having him only classified in speech because I still feel there are other issues going in, but they reassured me that the classification just kind of opens the door for special education services, but it in no way limits the type of services he can receive. So I feel ok about that right now. I think I need to look into getting some sort of private help again for the issues we're having at home that won't be addressed at school because they aren't causing "school problems" and that's just the way it's going to be.

And we set some new goals for speech and language that I think will be good for him. I don't know. I need to get to the school to observe him some more. I still worry about his peer relationships and how his speech affects him. His teacher did say he is really reluctant to read aloud in reading groups. But he does answer questions when asked. I need to think some more about some of the things I still worry about.

But overall, I feel good about the meeting. I feel like they took my concerns seriously and left options open for revision if we feel like new needs arise over time. I guess that's all I can really ask for at this point.

Now, we're beginning the process of having Elisabeth evaluated for some concerns we're having with her (and shared by her teacher and also noticed by the Occupational Therapist who informally observed her). Sooo, here we go again, right??
We just keep moving forward . . . with whatever we've got.:) Phew!

Look what I found!

2011-11-29T22:09:00.003-07:00

An entire site devoted to reviewing apps that are most useful and helpful for moms? I can go for that.;)

(click on the pic to go to the site)
(and if you saw the 2 links I posted recently in Pinterest from Babble.com: The Top 50 apps for Kids and The Top 50 apps for moms, they were both from this site.)

Just wanted to share that. Keep telling me about good apps, folks. I know there are more of you out there with some good ones you use! (and thanks to those of you who have answered thus far - I appreciate it!)

That's it for tonight. Good night.:)

I think I'm in love

2011-11-28T22:03:00.004-07:00

oh, I know. This is all old news for a lot of you (most of you?). And you probably knew I was going to take this big step eventually.

But I finally took the leap and got myself an iphone! hip hip hooray! And I love it even more than I thought I could.;)
Zac and I decided to use our Healthy Lifestyles money from his work (where we get paid for exercising, doing self check-ups etc) for something "fitness related" for each of us. He's getting a GPS watch. I got the phone that I can use to track my calorie intake and calorie burn, etc.;) (My check is also paying for the first little while of data plan! wohoo!)

Anyway - it's a fun new toy. Very exciting for everyone in the family (Isaac is way too excited for the games for example. Oh you Angry Birds . . .). I'm finding all kinds of apps I didn't even know existed. And I'm trying to figure out a way to get free texting, among other things (also excited that I can text other iphone users for free, though. Which just happens to include pretty much my entire family. Except for Zac.)

Anyway - now's your chance to tell me all about your favorite apps!! I'm especially interested in hearing about any fitness/health related ones that you've found that work well (since that was my justification for getting this thing - heheh). I've found several, of course, but I'm curious to know which ones you like. If you're into that sort of thing.;)

And anything else, too.
Educational games for the kids? Neat free practical things? Budget tools? GPS navigation? Music? Photos?

What do you like the best? What do you use the most?

Tell me everything. It's all new to me so I'm all ears!

Ready to listen and learn.:)

First Advent

2011-11-27T22:22:00.003-07:00

One of the traditions I've loved carrying on from my time in Germany is Advent. While I was there and visiting different families and joining them for their celebrations, I learned that many of them celebrate Advent the 4 Sundays preceding Christmas by singing Christmas carols, eating treats, and lighting a candle on the Advent wreath (a circle wreath with 4 candles - each Sunday they light another candle).

I finally found myself an Advent wreath a few years ago and we've added in our own traditions of what to do on each of those Sundays. I think I've written a little bit about this before (although maybe it was on the old blog, I don't know). We like to drink hot chocolate around the candle wreath on the table and sing carols. We've also tried planning out a few different things like writing our Christmas cards, making cookies, reading the Bible story etc. on those Sunday evenings. Some of those have been more successful than others over the years. But just about every year, for just about as long as I can remember in our married life, the first Advent Sunday (or as close as possible) is when we get out our Christmas decorations and decorate the tree. Then we admire what a great job we've done and sing O Christmas Tree.:)

So that's what we did today. I can't believe today is actually the 4th Sunday before Christmas! I've had a hard time getting into the holiday swing of things and such this year (bah humbug!). But, it's true. Christmas is on its way. We forgot to light the candle tonight. But, you know, that's just how these things go sometimes. Zac and I were both really tired and the kids were hyper and we were just happy to get the tree decorated and put them to bed. Oh well.

Anyway, just thought this year I'd share with you what we do each week for Advent. Just for fun. I love spreading out our Christmas celebrations over the whole month. Christmas is a season, not just a day, right?

So, may your holiday season be off to a merry start. (Like it or not, I do believe it's started . . . haha)

Relay Race!

2011-11-26T22:57:00.005-07:00

Our local churches were putting on an 18 mile relay race that Zac wanted to run. He thought it'd be fun to get Abigail to run on a team with him, so he was trying to get a coed team together. We found another guy to run (our neighbor Jaxon) but had a really hard time finding another woman. So. Guess what? Yep, I ended up getting talked into it.

Then we ran into some issues because the race organizers decided we couldn't have a youth on our team. They either had all youth teams or all adult teams. But then they did more discussing or something and changed their minds again. So we ended up in the Open Category at the last minute.

Each of the legs were between 1 mile and 3.3 miles and we each ran 2 legs. I had the shortest sections, but one of them had a huge hill that about killed me. Especially since I haven't really done much running since the triathlon. The guys were speedy though and that helped our team do really well!! Abigail did great, too, but she was really sore from running the 3.7 mile Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving so it was tough for her. But it was more fun than I expected it to be and we came in 2nd for the Open Group and 5th overall (out of 2o-something teams). Plus doughnuts at the finish. So yay for us!!:)

Anyway - here's the photo story for you: (Enjoy!)

Go Team 4!!:)

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-25T16:01:00.004-07:00

Abigail, Isaac and Zac ran the 3.7 mile Turkey Trot. Zac is still nursing his injured leg so he jogged with Isaac. (No free pie this year! oh well - haha) But I'm really proud of the kids for running.

Elisabeth and Samuel wearing the cute pilgrim costumes they made at school:

At my mom's house. Mom and Lowell, Chelsea, my fam, and Devin, Liz and Miles (who slept through the whole dinner but had his own feast later):

Cousins!:) My kids and 11 mo old Miles:

spinning around on mom's porch swing:

Elisabeth thinks she can climb trees:

Miles' first thanksgiving (wearing the hat they had for his first thanksgiving last year - but he decided to be born 2 wks - or more? - late and he missed that one!):

And cute Miles who is just starting to walk! Love that little boy.:)

It was a great day. Can't even express how thankful I really am for so many many things. Really.

thankful thursday

2011-11-24T08:51:00.003-07:00

"Gratitude is a quality

similar to electricity:

it must be produced

and discharged

and used up

in order to exist at all.”

William Faulkner

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

a sheltering tree

2011-11-23T21:17:00.004-07:00

Had the chance to see one of my oldest, best friends today.

There is not much else quite like being with someone who has known you since you were 12. Girls camp, church dances, sleepovers, concerts, youth conferences, letters, all the way up through college roommates. Then continued friendship through mission, marriage, having kids, living closer in the same state, and living across the country. There are things we can talk about that almost no one else can understand. I think we have a level of trust and safety with each other that just takes a lot of years to develop, even through some of the times that we aren't in touch as much as others.

Anyway, I appreciate having a friend like her. And it was a lot of fun to get together again for the first time in a few years.

Thanks to the random person I snagged in the parking lot to take our picture.:)

And thanks again to Alyssa for this thoughtful little souvenir, too.:) It sums up everything about our short visit just perfectly.

Signs and Wonders: album by Matt Billingsley

2011-11-22T23:30:00.002-07:00

I think this is the first time ever in my life that I can truly say I know someone personally who has "released a music album," so of course I will do everything I can to help get his name out there and get his music into the hands of everyone and anyone who might be interested in it. And since you never can really tell who might or might not be interested, better just to let everyone know about it, yes? Yes, of course.:)

Matt is an old friend of mine and he has written, performed, recorded, mixed, produced and whatever else is involved in making an album (I don't even know) all of this all himself. That in and of itself seems like a gargantuan accomplishment that I can't even begin to fathom. Not to mention the courage it takes to open yourself up to possible criticism and rejection that is the process to which every artist is subjected. And then not to mention even having the talent to produce something that is good. And then, not to mention writing songs that are personal and express such faith and devotion to God. That is impressive to me.

I realize that this kind of Contemporary Christian music is not every one's cup of tea. But I would encourage anyone at all to give this a try and listen with an open mind. It's amazing sometimes what we can discover and enjoy when we set aside all prejudices and preconceptions and just let ourselves experience it for what it is. You might even surprise yourself. :)

I really enjoy all the songs on the album, but I think that two of my favorites are "Everything is New" and "Road to Everlasting" (at least right now).

"Road to Everlasting" is a really beautiful instrumental piece. The best words I can come up with to describe it are contemplative and encouraging. Just something about it . . .

And "Everything is New" seems to capture for me that sincere and full moment of true conversion to Christ. And it is a feeling that I think we seek to renew as we constantly recommit and repent (especially used as in the literal translation of the German word for repentance: umkehr, which means "to turn around"). The best part is the ending which closes with the repetition of this phrase: "when I'm feeling like there's hope in the world . . . it's you . . ."
Hope. Joy. New Beginning. Being loved and forgiven. That's what I feel like it's really all about, when all is said and done. And that's what I feel more than anything listening to this album.

Go here to listen to song samples and to buy for yourself from: Amazon or iTunes

sweetness

2011-11-21T21:09:00.002-07:00

Recently, I keep going into the little kids' room in the morning to find Elisabeth climbed up and fast asleep with Samuel in the top bunk. They're not really supposed to do that, because they tend to talk and laugh and play instead of going to sleep. But it is kind of sweet to find them together in the morning.

Last night they were scared of something so we left their door open and hall light on. I peeked in when I walked by later to shut the door and saw Elisabeth's bed empty. And here they were:

My sweet, sleeping, open-mouth-breathing kids (and with partly open eyes, which they get from me).

I'll use this photo as proof as they get older that they really did like each other at one point.;)

something I've been thinking about

2011-11-20T20:45:00.003-07:00

If you've been reading this blog for very long, or know me very well, you already know there are some recurring themes of things I often think about, and read about, research, ponder, talk about, ruminate on, try to figure out, etc etc ad infinitum. One of those topics is about our moods, feelings, emotions and how much we do or don't control them, how and why we react to them, how to manage them, how to cope. Something like that. It's interesting stuff.

I am often bothered by the notion that we can "choose to be happy" or that we "choose to be offended" - or any of these ideas that somehow we can just make a mental choice to feel whatever it is we think we "should" be feeling - or not feel what we "shouldn't". Quite frankly, (and I know I'm treading on dangerous, controversial ground here), I don't buy it. Now, before anyone attacks me with their own strong opinions on this, let me just allow that I am still working these things out in my own mind. I haven't gotten it all figured out. And let me humbly assert that, ahem, neither do you . . . or anyone else. We are all human, forming our own fallible opinions based on our own very individual, limited experiences. We don't have all the answers and we cannot know what anyone else is really experiencing, much as we might try.

But, this quote above rings true to me. Or at least mostly true. I saw it on Pinterest and added it to my collection and I've been mulling it over, trying to decide what I think. I think it is important to let ourselves feel whatever emotion is being evoked in us. Really and truly, I think it is healthy to acknowledge all our feelings, good and bad, positive and negative, all the things we should or shouldn't feel. I am not sure that we really make conscious choices to feel anything. But we can choose what to do with our feelings. And like this quote, we can choose (more or less) what we will focus our thoughts on, which waves we will surf. This analogy strikes me because I think that some days, the waves are just a little rougher than others. There are days when our choices of which waves to ride are just a little more limited because of the conditions creating the waves. Not to mean it is out of our control completely. Or that we are left completely at the whim of external circumstances. I don't know for sure how much of the waves we help to create ourselves, or the conditions that create the waves. There's a lot to consider I guess and I can't pretend to expect this analogy to stand up to all scrutiny. It certainly doesn't.

I guess part of what I'm trying to express though is that sometimes it feels to me like we are bombarded by huge rough tumbling towering waves, one right after the other, no breaks, no breathers, no clearly "better" ones to surf. It feels to me like sometimes it's all we can do just to keep our head above water and try to make it back to shore in one piece. There is also a bit of skill to be learned, like surfing. I've never surfed so I really don't know - but I imagine it takes quite a bit of practice to learn which waves are "better" to ride, and it takes lots of practice to be able to surf without a whole lot of "wiping out." Knowing how to deal with our own feelings and especially those of others is tricky business, a lifelong pursuit. I can even see that surfers must also take a lot of time to learn how to read the conditions and ascertain when maybe it's just best to observe the waves from afar and not jump in and paddle too far out. In other words, maybe sometimes we just need to observe our tumultuous stormy feelings and let them work themselves out on their own.

I don't know. Hm. What do you think about all of this? Am I trying to read too much into a rather simple concept? Is it helpful at all to you to think of feelings as waves and choosing which ones to surf - or not? Am I just waxing a little to deeply (psycho) philosophical? Should I just keep my thoughts to myself? ;)

Be nice (as always, of course). But do share. Thanks!

sunrise

2011-11-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Grabbed my camera yesterday and ran outside in the cold in my pajamas and barefeet to catch these photos of the sunrise:

Good morning world.

Lookie what I did!

2011-11-18T11:43:00.004-07:00

I know this isn't really a DIY-er, crafty type blog. That's because I'm not really a big DIY, crafty kind of gal. But this is why I have to celebrate whenever I do something DIY-er, crafty-ish. Because I'm kind of impressed with myself. So it's a blog post. hehe. ;)

I turned a bar of soap into homemade liquid handsoap! hooray for me.

I kept seeing this idea on Pinterest (of course) and, knowing how sensitive and dry my kids' skin gets in the winter, and knowing how hard it is sometimes to find liquid handsoap that isn't antibacterial, I decided to try it.

The recipe I used was:
1 gallon water
1 bar of soap, grated (I used generic Dove)
2 Tb glycerin (found at Walmart somewhere by the bandaids)

So here's my stuff:
Here's my pretty pile of grated soap (looks like mozzerella cheese, but . . . it's not):

So, you heat it all up til the soap is melted. Add the glycerin. Stir it all up. And let it sit for 12-24 hrs or something to let it thicken up.

Here's my pot the next morning:

The hardest part was figuring out how to get it from the pot to the containers. I ended up using a measuring pitcher thing and a funnel. But my mixture turned out with kind of a snotty gloopy consistency, so it was still no easy task to transfer it all (it kept wanting to slime out of everything all at once in one big glop).

Anyway.

Besides the somewhat unusual texture, I'd have to call it a success. Mine didn't turn out as an exact replication of storebought liquid handsoap, per se, but I think it works. And I think that saves us about $8 in handsoap refills so yippee!

Anybody else ever tried this? Anybody want to try it and tell me how it goes for you? I've read that higher quality soap works out a little better. Curious to know what anyone else has tried.

Have you done anything nifty-crafty, DIY-ish lately that has surprised even yourself? Or anything else you've done/made/created/cooked/baked/sewed/blogged/whatever that you're proud of? Do share.:)

thankful thursday

2011-11-17T12:09:00.006-07:00

- thankful that the weather was mild and I felt well enough to go outside for a walk

- thankful for leaves on the sidewalk, and in the grass next to the sidewalk, that I could walk through and crunch and kick up in the air with my shoes

- thankful for the season of Autumn when the natural world reminds me to slow down. It's quieter and a bit solemn and sad to watch the slow decay and withering away of summer's blooms. But. It reminds me of how every season is needed. Even if the season is a little more brittle and brown and melancholy and subdued than we might sometimes like. I need it. We need it. And even if I am a bit more like Autumn in some ways than the bright happy energetic summertime people, somehow I am reminded that my slower pace is ok too.

- thankful that most of the phlegm has moved from my head down into my lungs, so that although I can't breathe very well, at least I can think again! (well mostly)

- and thankful that I took my camera for a walk today:) It's always good for me to look closely and notice what's around me again.

No Spring or Summer Beauty hath such grace

As I have seen in one Autumnal face

- John Donne

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree

- Emily Bronte

today's notes to myself

2011-11-16T22:14:00.003-07:00

1. standing with a group and pretending to sing along for an audience because you're too phlegmy to actually sing is just downright embarassing. Next time, just skip it.

2. you can't go out in public with A&D ointment smeared all over your nose no matter how much you really want to. sorry.

3. seriously need to find a new strategy for dealing with Elisabeth's tantrums. It's out of control.

4. herbal tea is your best friend.

5. buy some Puffs Plus ASAP.

6. go exercise tomorrow morning instead of going back to bed like you have for 2 days now, regardless of how yucky you feel. Listen to Zac. Just do it.

7. waiting until 10:00 at night to try and write a blog post for the day just isn't really a very good idea. I know.

yay for Isaac

2011-11-15T21:43:00.003-07:00

Tonight was scout pack meeting for Isaac and he earned some awards for the first time in . . . awhile. Hooray! He earned his Webelos badge and a bunch of pins and a belt loop.

(I was sick and didn't really want to be there and really didn't want to stand up there and be in the picture, but at least there was this one shot where I am mostly hidden. You can still kind of see how red my nose is though. Oh well.)

Congrats to Isaac!:)

sun on water

2011-11-14T21:43:00.002-07:00

This morning I went swimming for the first time in quite a few weeks.
I was happy that the sun was coming in through the huge window next to the indoor pool.
It was reflecting off the water as I swam my laps.
That's one of my favorite things.:)

And, other than that, I think I've come down with a nasty cold and I can't really think of anything else to say tonight. Feeling pretty yucky, which is occupying most of my thoughts. Blech.
G'nite.

(not my photo. the only source I could get to here)

Sunday

2011-11-13T21:01:00.002-07:00

Today Elisabeth, Samuel and Isaac stood up in church with all the other kids in our congregation aged 12 and younger and sang songs and recited scripture for the annual church Primary program.

Today my mom and her new fiance Lowell came down to watch the program with us and spend the evening with us (first time he has visited our home).

And then Abigail, my mom, and I were able to go to a musical fireside together where we heard Hilary Weeks perform and speak for all the women and young women of our church area. It was powerful and beautiful.

I've had a hard weekend emotionally. Just lots of factors combining to create a kind of unrelenting suction on my ability to cope with stuff. Ah well. So it goes.

But these were good things today. So, there is that.:)

(here's a song by Hilary Weeks that she didn't actually sing tonight. It's not even really my favorite song by her. But I love the video. I love the stories and what they represent for all of us. I love this concept that somehow everything is conspiring for our good, even the tragedies, and heartaches, and failures, and even all the little tiny annoyances and trials of daily human living. I believe that somehow all these things can work together to refine and shape us. Even when we don't see it. Even when we fight and kick and complain against it (oh, sometimes it is so hard for me). But I believe that that is why God has placed us here on earth. And I believe in God as our Heavenly Father who loves us as His children.

I just wanted to say that today.)

Official Announcements

2011-11-12T21:32:00.003-07:00

My parents divorced about 15 years ago.

I was in Germany on my mission at the time I found out about the beginnings of these proceedings, which continued throughout the time I returned home to VA and then moved to UT with my mom (and some of my siblings), and then through my engagement and wedding soon after. I don't remember when the divorce was officially "final." Sometime soon after I got married I think.

And just in this last week, I found out (officially) that both my mom and my dad are now engaged. Both of them. Not to each other, of course. But both.

So, since I try to keep this blog focused on me (haha) and my thoughts and reactions, I suppose it's safe to say that any child of a divorce at any age probably experiences a plethora of varying emotions in reaction to this kind of big change and adjustment, and I suppose I am no exception. That's normal right?

But, nevertheless, setting all of my own personal issues aside, here is my public congratulations to each of them! It is very exciting.:)

tweet tweet

2011-11-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

So.

Tell me.

Do you have Twitter?

Do you have Facebook too?

Do any of you out there tweet, and facebook and blog?

Give me some pointers here.

You see, curiosity got the better of me and I set up a Twitter account just to see what it's all about. But not only am I confused about the ins and outs and how-tos and what-the-hecks?? But I can't figure out if I really want/need/should/could maintain all 3 platforms for sharing my personal life with the world. hahaha.

So, for those of you that do tweet: why do you do it? Would you typically post different things as tweets than you would FB status updates? Are they any different? I know some people use twitter and then have it automatically imported into FB as status updates, so you're kind of, uh, hitting 2 birds with one stone (ahem, pardon the pun). Are there any reasons why you would prefer FB over Twitter or vice versa?

And then, someone please give me a basic twitter tutorial. Oh yes, I've googled it and tried to figure it out - but if you had to explain it very quickly and concisely to a mostly tech-unsavvy gal such as myself, what would you say? Retweets, hashtags . . . I don't even know what else it is that I don't know about. Help me, someone please!

And then . . . there's always the option of maybe just blogging everything and just reposting it in FB and/or twitter and let this be my primary virtual-world home. The place where I can invite you in to sit on my virtual couch (wait, let me move that so there's more room . . . just ignore the mess) and we can sit together and eat yummy treats and chat about all the things going on in our lives, etc. Or, you know, maybe I'd be the one doing most of the talking. But this is the place where you would all be welcome and we could all be friends and give hugs and support and watch each other's kids. Wait. No.

Nevermind.

At any rate, I'm just trying to figure this out. I'd love to hear any advice, tips, suggestions, warnings, chastisements, complaints, whatever you've got, I'll take it.

Ready, set . . . go!

(and I promise I will try to refrain from making stupid bird jokes . . .)

(oh and ps - if you know me, you can find me in twitter with my full name and middle initial. If you feel so inclined. Even though I haven't tweeted anything yet because I don't know what I'm doing there.;) And if you don't know me, well sorry. Maybe if I set up a twitter someday that doesn't have my full name visible, then you can "follow me" and we can be fellow tweeters. Or whatever. Ok. Until then . . . )

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-10T09:51:00.003-07:00

Today I am thankful:

- that we sang 2 of my most very favorite hymns in church on Sunday (Be Still My Soul and All Creatures of Our God and King). I needed that. And my heart felt full.

- that Abigail is getting so good at teaching herself piano and making up her own songs. It is so fun to hear (even though sometimes she does this at the expense of other things she is supposed to be doing). ;)

- that Zac has Veteran's Day off of work! wohoo!

- that Abigail was able to go see The Nutcracker ballet with her youth group. Just so glad she had that opportunity, even though she came home with a heart aching to dance in it.

- thankful for Zac's Healthy Lifestyles program at work where we get PAID CASH for exercising, eating fruits and vegetables, and doing monthly self-exams. It's even worth getting my body fat tested once a year (as required at the yearly assessment -ugh). Money. I can always use it.

- for the times when Samuel and Elisabeth play "family" sweetly together.

- for a washing machine and fresh warm clean smelling clothes.

- for happy exciting things happening in the lives of family members

- that Abigail is halfway through with her orthodontic treatment (and that we had the means to get her the braces she needed).

- that Isaac is responsible and so caring for his new pet.

- that Samuel is doing so well in school this year!

- and for even thinking about the possibility of making Gingerbread Pumpkin Bars today.;) yummm.

What are you thankful for this week?

oh and I forgot one

2011-11-09T11:25:00.003-07:00

oops. Here's another book I'm reading right now:

Keats' poetry is beautiful, eloquent, and romantic. I'm just sort of stuck on one particular 30 pg long epic poem that I can't quite appreciate. But I'm still trying. I've exhausted my renewals on this book from the library so I'm trying very hard to actually finish reading it before it's due once and for all.

ok, I think that's all.
Happy Reading.:)

What I'm Reading

2011-11-08T22:42:00.004-07:00

Well. I'm so far behind on my reading round-ups and so close to the end of the year where I'll do my big review of my favorites, I am thinking that right now I'll just tell you a little bit about the books I'm reading right now. Yes, books. Plural. I'm kind of in the middle of a few, in some form or another. People always ask me what I'm reading though, right? So here it is:

1. I started this one in January I think. And then after the first chapter I realized it would probably be better to read this with my camera actually in hand to try to do what it's saying {ding! lightbulb!}. (I have a Canon Powershot S5IS, in case anyone is curious in knowing) And, well, that takes more time and commitment and I haven't gotten very far. But I'd already added it to my Goodreads "currently reading" list. And so there it stays. I still consider myself to be reading it. Sort of.

2. I'm about halfway through this. It is a collection of essays written by Malcolm Gladwell for The New York Times (I think - don't quote me on that). Some have been quite interesting. Some, not so much. So I dabble a little bit in it here and there. Non-fiction is good for that sort of thing. Making slow progress.

3. I'm not sure I'm really reading this one. Not yet, anyway. And it really is just coincidental that I'm mentioning this on the same day as the big Duggar announcement that they are expecting #20. But I just grabbed this from the library out of curiosity and of course I immediately flipped through and read random tidbits. I haven't seen the show. But from the little I know, some things about them and/or their philosophies make me feel uncomfortable. I am interested, though, in examining what it is exactly that makes me feel uncomfortable and why I feel that way. And like any other parenting book I've read, I am always interested in reading what works for other people and pulling out the things that work for me and feel right for us and very respectfully throwing out what doesn't.

I respect them tremendously for doing what they feel is right. That's all that any of us can really do anyway, right? But especially doing something so widely criticized and far from the mainstream. Goodness, I know I felt like an outcast just for breastfeeding past a year. I can't imagine this.

So, I may just continue to browse this. Or I may actually sit and read it straight through. I haven't decided yet.

4. I loved Chocolat and Five Quarters of the Orange so I grabbed this at the library one day. It's supposed to be the sequel to Chocolat. It's taking me awhile to get into this one though. Feels a little bit forced, as a sequel, to me. But maybe it just has a slow beginning. We'll see. I'm about 100 pgs in.

----------------------------

Maybe I'm just in a reading rut, where I'm just not terribly excited about what I'm reading for a little while (possibly not even related to the books in and of themselves). It happens sometimes. It could be that. That's often when I end up in the middle of several books, when one doesn't capture my attention enough to keep me faithful (haha). Oh well.

What are you reading lately?? Anything good? Please share. We need to talk about books again!

(oh and speaking of which, my bookclub has dissolved. Again. So I am especially lonely for book-talk. And just lonely. Talk to me please!!) :)

Fun at the Discovery Gateway Children's Museum

2011-11-07T20:40:00.004-07:00

just a little photo gallery for ya today from our weekend fun :)

My Fair Lady: A Story in Three Parts

2011-11-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Part One:

Well, I did a funny thing. See, last week on a blog I read (Formerly Phread - the same blog incidentally that won me the Triathamom entry - haha) she was giving 10 tickets to see My Fair Lady at Hale Centre Theater. Just had to email her and tell her you wanted to go, and if you were one of the first 10 to email, then you got to go! And hey, I love My Fair Lady and I especially love going to plays, and most especially musicals. And . . . ok, maybe I'm just a big sucker for free things. I can't help it.

The thing was, you had to arrive an hour early to eat hors d' oeuvres with the group and "socialize" and then hear the creative director or someone talk a little bit about the play. And I'm not really a "socializer." Having to "socialize" with people I don't know makes me pretty nervous. And I feel like a dork, just in general. I was afraid I would stand out and look dorky (what to wear?!), or say something dorky (or not know what to say at all??), or laugh dorky (because I have a really loud nervous laugh - if you know me, you know this is the truth). I was afraid I'd end up with food in my teeth and no one would tell me. Or I'd spill something down my shirt. Or, well, who knows. Anything could happen . . .

But I wanted to go. And gosh-darnit, I am getting to a point in my life where if I want to do something, I'm just gonna do it. Social awkwardness be darned. And so I did. I emailed her. I was one of the first 10. And so I went.

Part Two:

So, I got to the theater on time. I went to the little conference room place where I checked in and they gave me my ticket. And I stood in line for the food (of course! what else could I do?). Turns out there were several local blogs that were given complimentary tickets to give to some of their faithful readers (I didn't know this would be the case). Sooo, there were more people than I expected. But everyone there seemed to know at least someone else. And yes, I felt a little silly. I don't even know the girl who writes the blog - I just read it. haha. But I found an empty chair. And ate. And wondered if I could slip out of the room at the end of this shindig and escape having to talk to anyone. But. I knew I'd be sitting in the group with the other readers of the blog, and Jenny, the blog author herself. So she'd probably notice if I didn't at least introduce myself during this "socializing" tidbit. Dangit.

The choreographer and musical director said a few little insider things about the play and how it was made. That kind of stuff. Then we had about 15 min left before we should go be seated.

I looked around and spotted Jenny (at least I was fairly certain it was her - I'd only seen her picture on the blog . . . and there was no one else there that looked like it might be her, so I could only assume I had spotted the right person). After a few more minutes of convincing myself I really had to, I walked up to where she was talking to some other people and tapped her shoulder and introduced myself. Yay! The worst part was over.;) She said I was the last one she was waiting to find in the group. Yes, of course I was.

And she introduced me to some of her other readers ("guests") who were there with her. And then we all migrated to the bathroom and went to our seats. My seat was next to Jenny. Good thing I had said hello beforehand!

Seems she already knew the other people sitting on the other side of me so I casually injected myself into their conversation and tried not to feel like the lame blog stalker that I really am. I tried not to become paranoid (are they looking at me funny? do I look funny?) and I tried not to feel stupid when I couldn't remember simple details about Jenny's life that I really should already know from reading her blog for years - but that I really wouldn't know about someone whom I've just met in real life and am trying to make small talk with (how many kids do you have? etc). Awkward. Oh well.
Funniest moment though was during intermission when Jenny went out and the couple next to me leaned over and asked, "so how do you know Jenny?"
Me: "uh, well, I don't. I just read her blog. And wanted to see the play." Duh.
Oh well.

Part Three:

But the play was worth it all. My Fair Lady is one of my favorites. I love the play Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw that it is based on. Phonetics is one of my pet wanna-learn-more-about topics. And I just think this whole idea is fascinating of how we talk, or dress, affects so much of how other people react to us. Our perceptions of the world are based so much on our own experiences and biases and judgments. It's crazy, really.

And then . . . ohh Henry Higgens. Did he really think he was helping Eliza? It makes me think of how often we put forth efforts to help someone "improve" . . . we want to be helpful, we think we're helping, we think they need it, we think they need to change, to become better, to be healthier, to be whatever it is they are lacking. How often does it ever work? And yet we continue to do it. We do it to those around us, certainly our spouses to some extent or another, and our children. And although I know there is an element of teaching and training that is absolutely necessary to child rearing, there is also an aspect of acceptance that I think I forget sometimes. They cannot be other than who they are. How much do I accept as the nature of who this person is, and how much do I try to change - to say "this is unacceptable and it needs to change"? And how much change are we truly capable of anyway? Some would say we can change anything, with enough work and perseverance and desire. Others may say that there is a core to our being that will always be part of what we are. But who is to say which parts belong where?

And I know that in thinking this over, I veer way off from the point or purposes of the play. But I think that is the point of art anyway. Where it takes your thoughts, beyond what is meant or what is intended.

This time I was also more bothered that Eliza goes back to Henry in the end. Why?!? Because she doesn't know what else to do? And just because she knows his schedule and where he put his slippers means that he can't live without her - is this love?! Hmph. I don't know.

Interesting things to think about, though. And that's why I'm glad I went. That's what art and music and all of this good stuff in the world is all about. And that's why I endured a little social awkwardness to be able to go and experience it. :)

The End.

perhaps

2011-11-05T23:30:00.000-06:00

"Perhaps I write for no one.

Perhaps for the same person

children are writing for

when they scrawl their names

in the snow.”

- Margaret Atwood

[I had a different blog post I was going to write today, but we got really busy and it's late and I need to post something before midnight. ;) So, here is a quote I saved in my archives sometime long long ago - I think it was probably from a book I read and it struck me. It digs into that ever-evolving and neverending self-questioning of why do I write a blog anyway? Who is it for, really? For me? For you? My kids, my prosperity? For no one? Who knows for sure. Why do you write (or do whatever it is you do as a creative outlet) and who is it for? Does it matter? Does it make any difference in what you write and how you write it? . . . And what's the point of NaBloPoMo anyhow???

Is it all just to say "I was here"? To leave some mark in the snow, even though we know it's going to melt and disappear. Well, I don't know. But it's interesting to think about sometimes.

And that's all I have to offer you tonight at the end of a long, busy, but enjoyable Saturday. What's on your mind tonight . . .?]

German Food Recipes

2011-11-04T11:44:00.005-06:00

I've had some requests for the recipes for the food I made for our German Oktoberfest feast (here and on FB). So here they are! Click on the links and have fun.:)

Spaetzle - there are many ways to serve this delicious dish, but my favorite is with cheese and ham. I've usually used gouda, this time we used Havarti cheese. I drained the spaetzle, melted 2 slices of cheese in with it, added some shredded ham slices and then gobbled it up! yum yum yum. Another note: this recipe claims this makes 6 servings but I can't even imagine it serving that many. I would say it made more like 3 good size side servings.

Bavarian cinnamon roasted almonds - I just used vanilla extract and regular sugar and salt. They were PERFECT!!

Brotchen - sooo good!! We used these as kind of buns to eat with the bratwurst - it was delicious!

Potato salad (no photo sorry) - this isn't the typical German kartoffelsalat but a "germanized" version I adapted from the Better Homes and Gardens recipe. Basically just has more vinegar, lots of dill, plus a chopped dill pickle for good measure.;)

Bratwurst (not a recipe but just an example of what you might find in the store)

Cucumber salad - I didn't actually like this recipe very much. I've had a very difficult time finding one that truly replicates what I loved so much in Germany (besides the Krauter herb/spice pack I've ordered from GermanDeli.com). But you're welcome to give it a try and see how you like it. ;)

And then I just bought a big jug of fresh apple cider and a liter bottle of seltzer water (not club soda - get the kind without sodium) and mixed them together almost half and half to make it sparkling.

Enjoy!:)

thankful thursday

2011-11-03T11:50:00.003-06:00

This week I am thankful for:

- the friendly girl at zumba who has made me feel so welcome by simply saying hello to me and remembering my name

- my ipod on shuffle. Always some pleasant surprises coming my way!

- nights when homework gets done, kids get bathed, and everyone is in bed on time (oh that glorious rare occurrence!)

- Zac. Always.

- havarti cheese - yummm

- jeans that don't slip down when I bend over (hal-le-lu-jah!)

- those little moments when I feel like life is good and maybe I really am ok just the way I am

- collecting happy things on Pinterest

What are you thankful for this week?

Introducing our new little furry friend (and NaBloPoMo)

2011-11-02T11:11:00.004-06:00

Isaac has been begging for a pet ever since it occurred to him that Abigail was 10 when she got her bunny (and he is now 10). We talked about a snake, or lizard, or turtle. Then hamsters or gerbils. When we were given a whole hamster cage set-up for free that pretty much decided the hamster for us, although I was still kind of rooting for a turtle. These little scurrying rodents don't appeal to me much. But here we are.

This is Pumpkin:

It is very nearly impossible to get a good picture of her in that cage. But you get the idea. It is kind of cute to watch her hoard her food in her cheeks and take it out and hold it in her little claws to nibble. And we got a ball that she can roll around in on the floor and that's kind of fun (if we can get her out of the cage - so far she's not real keen on being touched). Isaac is very excited - and I do think it's a good experience for kids to have a pet. I kind of do wish we could just have a cat or dog, but severe allergies between several of us just don't make that a possibility. And out of the way smaller cages just don't present the same degree of allergy problems.

Anyway - in other news, November is National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) once again!! I'm undecided about whether I'll stick to it this year or not. In some ways it's good to commit to daily posting and it's a good way to catch up and purge all sorts of stuff from my wee little brain. But in other ways, it just becomes a drag and I get tired of it and I feel like everyone else gets tired of me as well. Oh well. We'll just see how it goes.

Some things I really hope to get back into this month: Reading Round-Ups! (And remember that long lost book club idea? Yeah, me too.)

And Thankful Thursdays! Tis the season . . . and it's really good for me.

And the Journal Rereading Project Flashbacks! (I got so far - and then just fizzled)

Is anybody still reading? Does anyone care? And does it matter if anyone reads or cares? Always the nagging question for me in the blog-o-sphere.

Have a good day. And thanks for reading . . . and caring . . . if you do.;)

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T21:05:00.004-06:00

On Sunday we decided to throw ourselves our own little Oktoberfest since we didn't make it out to any other one this year. I made homemade german rolls (brotchen! my favorite!). And we had Bratwurst, Gurkensalat (cucumber salad - which didn't turn out quite the way I like it, but oh well), Kartoffelsalat (just my regular Germanized (extra vinegar and dill) potato salad), spaetzle (first time trying to make it from scratch and it was delicious!), and sparkling apple cider. Yummmm.

For dessert, we had glazed donuts bites, caramel apple bites, and Bavarian cinnamon roasted almonds (first time I've made those too and they were perfect!! Just like the ones I remember buying off the streets in Munich and have paid outrageously for at Oktoberfests). :)

I was very happy with how it all turned out. It all tasted sooo good (to me at least)! Then we carved pumpkins afterward. And then I wanted to dig out my authentic german oompa-band cassette tape and teach all the kids how to polka . . . but it got too late (darn!).

Halloween night. Elisabeth dressed up in the clown costume I wore when I was little (that my mom sewed! Abigail also wore it one year).

Samuel was Clifford the Big Red Dog (again). But by the time he got home from school he was running a fever and spent the rest of the day on the couch so he didn't actually go out trick-or-treating. We just made him sit and pose for all the pictures. He was a really good sport about it all.

Isaac was . . . well, we don't really know for sure. He was in disguise. And for wearing such a great disguise he won an award for the best costume for his class!! haha. It made us all laugh since he didn't even really know what he was "dressed up as." Whatever it was, I guess it worked.

And, after digging out my German clothes after our Oktoberfest, Abigail decided to be a "German Girl." Someone had given me this outfit in Germany and, even though it was a tight fit for me back then, I'm still amazed that she is big enough to wear it now (or equally amazed that I was really that skinny back then at age 21!).

Jack-o-Lanterns!

The crew:

Funny noses:

Headed out:

And my littlest little (who is not so little) digging in the candy after:

Hope you all had a Happy Halloween!

days like this

2011-11-01T08:28:00.003-06:00

rainy autumn days with wet roads and wet leaves

they're my favorite

(and although this is the weather we are having today, these aren't my photos, unfortunately. I collected them all on Pinterest. Apologies for not including the original links and sources.)

and . . . more running!

2011-10-27T13:55:00.009-06:00

(a catch-up post on some races I've missed)

Recovery Days 5K

Sept 17 2011

Zac's work helps put on this Recovery Days race and he likes to drag the older kids along to run it. This year they ALL PLACED FIRST in their age groups! YAY!

Isaac - ran in 29:54 - got 1st place boys age 1-10 (49th men's overall out of 126)
Abigail - ran in 25:15 - 1st place girls 11-14 (5th women's overall out of 113)

Zac - ran in 18:14 - 1st place overall!!!

(and he won a gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse and to a spa place! yahoo for fun race prizes!!!)

(some pics someone else took at the finish and gave to Zac)

BYU Triple Crown Elementary School Race

Sept 21 2011

Our school running club decided to participate in this elementary school meet at BYU. They were separated by gender and grade and then each group started 5 min apart. And I think Zac was out of town and Abigail had a church youth group activity so I was there alone with the 3 kids trying to help get them to the start and then be there to take pictures at the finish and, well, let's just say it didn't work out very well. Ugh.

I don't like crowded events much to begin with. Then the stress of getting the kids each where they needed to be, making sure they stayed there, coaxing them into participating (and not wimping out), etc etc. Hm. It wasn't much fun for me.

Here is Elisabeth at the start (#1472). The kindergartners were invited to run with the 1st graders.

So 5 min after her start, it was Samuel's turn to start. He was very anxious and nervous and almost didn't let me leave him there. But he did it!

Then I ran over to the other side of the field to see Elisabeth finish!

And I had gone up to sit in the bleachers where they told the parents to go to watch - but then when they got to the finish I realized in a panic that they were just letting the kids go off into the crowd after the finish line. AHHHH!!! So I pushed through the crowded bleachers and weaved my way over to the finish line to get her and by the time I reached it, Elisabeth was nowhere to be found. Panic. I ran around a little trying to find her, but then realized that Samuel was coming up to the finish line!!

I grabbed another familiar looking parent from our school and asked her to please grab Samuel at the finish line so that I could go find my lost daughter. Ugh!!

I ran over to the start to look and then came back again and finally saw her with her friend's mother. Phew! But of course she was in tears because she didn't know where I was. Who knows how lost she'd been before this nice mom grabbed her.

Then we went over to get Samuel, who was then also in tears because I wasn't at the finish line, even though at least I knew he was safe with another parent. But I was about in tears as well from the sheer madness and panic of it all. Not good.

Ah. But then, we had a wait until it was time for the 5th grade boys. At least I didn't have to worry about him freaking out at the start, or running off the course, or deciding to stop somewhere along the way, and I knew I would be there at the finish for him.

yay! We survived!!

Their times were:

Elisabeth 12:36 1 mile (54th out of 65)

Samuel 9:55 1 mile (45th out of 78)

Isaac 9:17 1 mile (33th out of 43)

Redhawks Run

Oct 14

As the culminating activity for the school running club they had a race during the school day and the other classes came out to watch and cheer them on. That was kind of fun. Except Samuel and Elisabeth refused to participate. Stinkers. So we all cheered Isaac on.

He did great! He ran 2 miles in 18:38, placing 3rd for the 5th grade boys. He kind of does better with the longer races because he paces himself so well. He gets in his good pace and doesn't really vary it and can maintain it well - which is great for long-distance, not so great for sprints.

Anyway - they had a little award ceremony at school the following week and he didn't think he had done that well (I'd seen the results posted online so I knew where he'd placed but didn't tell him). When they called his name for 3rd place, he even thought it must be some other kid so he didn't stand up until someone nudged him and told him to go! He was so surprised and excited!

I'm pretty proud of all my runners, big and small.:)

Abigail has also been running at her school cross-country team - but I'm not sure if they're doing any races or not. They are kind of more of a club, not an actual "team" for some reason, so I'm not sure how it works.

But anyway - there's our running update! Give them all a cheer! wohoo!

The Fab Four

2011-10-25T09:02:00.002-06:00

While Zac was running his 50 mile race, the kids were out of school for fall break.

We went to the park.

I wanted to just lay on the grass and read my book.

But I mostly pushed them on the swings and took pictures.

He did it again!

2011-10-24T22:35:00.007-06:00

Zac ran the Pony Express Trail 50 Mile race again!

(this pic is from when he first arrived home. I do believe he might actually be using the walls to support himself up) He finished this year in 9 hrs 20 min (30 min faster than last year).

I was just so relieved not to have to be his crew. You wouldn't even believe how relieved I was. He recruited a coworker/friend (boss) who does Ironman triathlons to be his support crew. And then another coworker who has done a 50-miler offered to drive all the way out there and just support and run along with Zac for the last 20 miles or so. I am so thankful to both of them for being there for my husband to do something I cannot!!

As much as I try to support him in all his endeavors . . . well I just can't be there for him for this one.

So these are pics taken by Tim:
(Zac in the red jacket and then white t-shirt with white hat)

This year he had a lot of really bad charly-horse/leg cramping - possibly related to not getting enough salt, despite his salt tablets. He tried eating some different things this time, and did more walking breaks - but he'd also had some IT-band problems in the weeks leading up to the race and actually stayed off his legs completely for 2 wks beforehand to try to heal that up (doing elliptical and crazy 4+hr spin bike sessions instead). So it's hard to know for sure what caused the problems. I guess with these really long ultra races, you just never really know what you're going to get when you run it. The weather, your food intake, salts, fluids, any number of factors could drastically affect your end result on race day. At any rate, he is happy that he did better this time. And also happy that he only dry-heaved once and didn't vomit at all this year! wohoo! Way to go Zac!!! ;)

(and he's getting really revved up about trying the 100 mile in the next year or 2! I don't even try to comprehend this mentality. Seriously. But I love him to death for it.) :)

playing in orchestra

2011-10-17T22:47:00.002-06:00

One of the exciting things about the advent of middle school for Abigail is being able to play in a school orchestra! Her very first concert was last week.

(pictures aren't in order but I don't feel like fixing them -sorry)

It's a nice size orchestra.

They have 3 orchestra levels at their school (of just 7th and 8th graders) and she's in the middle group (intermediate). The advanced group is much smaller so I think this is good for her this year.

But I was quite impressed with all 3 and with the conductor.

It is sometimes hard to have her "following in my footsteps" so to speak, with the same hobbies I pursued (ballet and violin). Sometimes I wish we hadn't had her do that. Of course, she expressed desires to do those things and that's why we started her with them. That, and it is a million times easier to support your kids in hobbies that you have at least some experience in so you can help and encourage them (as we learned when Isaac took T-ball and Zac and I were both clueless and couldn't even help teach him). Anyway - sometimes I feel like I'm too hard on Abigail. As we head into these teenage years, I'm so afraid of screwing up. But that's not really what this post was supposed to be about, was it?

No. So nevermind.

I love my beautiful Abigail girl and am so proud of her accomplishments. I love seeing her improve and being able to share in her experiences of orchestra now. One of her friends even came just to see her play and it just warmed my mommy heart.:)

circus!

2011-10-17T22:23:00.003-06:00

Last week we took the kids to a circus for the first time ever in their lives. It was a smaller cheaper one . . . but still pretty fun! (and I had gotten a deal through Daily Deals or something - yippee!)

Elisabeth was especially excited about the elephants. Poor deprived child has never even been to the zoo (but seriously, would you pay ~$50 to take your family to the zoo?! It's just hard for us to swallow). Anyway, she kept saying "I've never seen real elephants in my whole wide life."

They all really loved it and I was pleased to be able to finally provide this essential childhood experience for them.;) How can you go through childhood and never see a circus? Really.

Giveaway Love!

2011-10-11T15:39:00.004-06:00

My little sister (who had the super cute wedding this year) is also super talented and is giving away one of her handmade knitted hand muffs on her blog!

Go check it out here!

Send her some love for her birthday today and enter to win to celebrate :)

autumn morning sun

2011-10-11T09:31:00.004-06:00

not afraid of the dark

2011-10-05T12:00:00.000-06:00

Something that I have been thinking about lately (or over the last few yrs) is our relationship with light and dark, as symbolic concepts mostly.

Light is good. Dark is bad. (summing it up in a nutshell)

The symbolism runs deep in our culture it seems. It is found in nearly every fairy tale or legend or myth. It is the symbolism of the Bible. And it is woven into the idioms of our everyday speech. Being "left in the dark" is to be clueless or purposefully left out. A "leap in the dark" is to take a chance with unpredictable consequences. The dark is unknown, scary, and risky. It brings up feelings of being alone, gloomy, lost, hopeless.

It even seems to be coded in our DNA, after our many thousands of years of ancestors trying to stay safe - after all what child is not afraid of the dark at some point? Afraid of what we cannot see. Afraid of the shadows that make things less certain, shifting. Afraid of being left alone in the dark to face the demons that are more felt than seen.

I have thought a lot about the idea of faith and how it relates to darkness. There is a commonly held analogy of sorts that we must be willing to take this "leap of faith", taking a step into the darkness away from the things we know for certain and putting our trust into God (or whatever higher being we choose to believe in) and having faith that the light will follow. In other words, the understanding, the answer, the peace, solace, solution, whatever it is we are seeking and needing, often comes only after we move into this dark and uncertain place of trusting.

Then we wait.

We have faith that the light will come. Sometime. Eventually.

And I have struggled with this period of waiting.

And I've struggled with wondering what to do and what the purpose is of this time of unknowing. And then with deciding still to trust, even when you seem to be all alone.

I recently read this book which shifted some of my perceptions of waiting in the dark, however. (When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd)

She talks a lot about the idea of a chrysalis. And this seems like a rather obvious metaphor, I know. But something in the way she wrote about it finally made sense to me in a way that other things just haven't.

Sometimes we don't understand. Sometimes we are frightened by changes that don't make sense. Sometimes we may be feeling a little reluctant, resistant, or even rebellious against wanting to wrap ourselves up in a sticky cocoon and hang upside from a stupid looking branch for an indeterminate amount of time, when everything seemed to be going ok scooting along as a content fuzzy caterpillar.

Why?!And then there comes into the whole equation this absolute necessity of patience. Because we cannot rush the process. We would frustrate the entire purpose if we were to yank the changeling butterfly out prematurely.

It needs the protection of the cocoon. It needs the time. It might even need the darkness to become what it needs to become.

oh.

And so then I started to think of other incubations or gestations.

A fetus in utero.

A chick in egg.

All waiting in darkness.
Becoming what they are supposed to be.
Growing.
Developing.

And then I came back to myself. This darkness I seem to too often feel. Darkness which seems to overtake and overwhelm me. When my seeking seems unanswered. When I can't make sense of anything and I feel alone and afraid.

Then I try, now, to feel the darkness as my protection, surrounding and embracing me. To let myself rest in knowing, not just that the light will follow dark, but that I need this time in this pupal stage, as a creature in waiting, to change into something else that I'm supposed to be.

And so I will wait, here in the dark.
I will be patient and trust.
And I will not be afraid.

peaches

2011-10-02T12:32:00.003-06:00

dehydrated peaches, frozen peaches, peach freezer jam, blueberry peach cobbler, peach crisp, blueberry peach muffins

I am sort of reveling in these novel feelings of domesticity :)

(and a special thank you to my friend who sold me a half-bushel of her fresh peaches)

fall drive up the mountains

2011-10-01T23:16:00.006-06:00

So beautiful.

(what? too many pictures?? no, never.)

(all photos by yours truly) ;)

triathamom: run

2011-09-30T10:30:00.000-06:00

To continue the timing chip saga, as I was leaving the transition area, I told the people at the beeping mat that I must have lost my timing chip in the pool and I took off the useless velcro strap to show them. One of the race organizers was also there and she said "yep. We won't be able to give you your split times, but we'll still be able to give you a start and finish time." So oh well. That was that.:(

Off I went.

I walked for a couple minutes to loosen up my legs a little bit and then got going. My shins hurt but seemed to feel a little better as I warmed up. Then I ran 10 min, walked 2 to stretch out a little, and ran the rest. I have to say that reaching the Mile 2 mark was pretty amazing! Only ~1 more mile to go! Wohoo!!! At that point I felt like I could do anything! One Mile was nothing! (note: I've never felt that way ever before during a run - ever) ;)

So here I am coming into the finish:

I have to say I find finish lines embarrassing. Am I the only one that feels that way? I kind of don't like having people cheer for me when all I want to do is focus on my ipod tunes and get across that line. Push through to the end. I feel uncomfortable with people watching me as I'm struggling and huffing and puffing (there's a race in Provo that goes along the 4th of July parade route that I avoid for that very reason).

Anyway - I made it!!!!! They handed me my finisher's necklace. I said Hi to Zac and the kids. Then I went to the food table to pig out - because I felt like I had earned it for sure. :)
Bagels, cream cheese, fruit platters, and cookies. Yum.

Me, stuffing my face and talking to my mom:

The kids had their faces painted:

They also had a sign-making station for the families while the wife/mom/daughter/woman was running.

Here's one the kids made for me:

So cute!

And my finisher necklace:

The finish line:

And bounce houses for the kids:

It was kind of a carnival for the families waiting, so that was a lot of fun for them.

Anyway. Because of my timing chip problem, my name wasn't even listed on the results page online which sort of ticked me off. I had to email the timing company and they finally got me my total time and said they'd update the list with my name on it (but it's still not there yet).

So - my total time was 1 hr 54 min and 18 sec.

According to my watch, my bike (12 miles) took 1 hr 06 min

and my run (5K) was 36 min

(which was about what my trainings had been taking me, so no surprises)

and that leaves 12 min for my swim and transitions.

It's possible that the swim (300 yds) took 10 min or so (even though my training swims were about 6 min - grrr). So, that would mean I took 2 min in getting from the pool to bike, and bike to run. But I don't know for sure.

So will I do it again?? Definitely. I think I want to try one with a half-mile swim (~800 yds) because I'm pretty sure I can do that. Maybe I'll even try an open water swim sometime (although finding a wet suit is not something I'd be looking forward to and might not even be feasible). I feel really good about what I accomplished. I'm proud of my body markings (that still haven't completely washed off) - and I will gladly show them off. I am sooo glad I won the entry to this race so I could try this out, risk-free so to speak. :) I'm never quite sure how to sum it up succinctly enough when people ask me "how was it?" (hence the very long post series all about it) - but I am very happy to be able to say I did it. That's something!

I can call myself a triathlete now! hehehe.

triathamom: bike

2011-09-27T21:32:00.003-06:00

(getting ready to bike) So, speaking of the timing chip, I took off on the bike and you cross over this mat where your timing chip is supposed to beep. And mine didn't beep (obviously). But there were lots of other people trying to get across and stuff too, of course. So I went back over it again, and the person said "ok, you're good" and I kept going.

Anyway.

The first 6 miles of this bike ride were supposedly all uphill. I'd driven the course - but I drove it backwards apparently, so I didn't get the full effect of this hill-thing that I was in for. Oh boy. The first 4 miles were kind of gradually uphill - hard but not tooooo bad. Then I see it ahead. The big hill. Ok. I keep telling myself, I can do this, I can do this. It was really tough. And I was being passed like the dickens all along the way and had to focus really hard not to be discouraged by it. But I could do it. I was pretty sure I could do it.

But then. I came up around to a bend and what seemed like must be near the top of the hill, and I went around the turn . . . and it kept going. Steeper. And I just about broke into tears (I also may have come close to saying some choice words I don't normally use). I tried to keep going. But about a few hundred yards from the crest of the hill I had to get off and walk it. I have just never felt such incredible burning exhausting exertion and I couldn't do it.

Good thing was, the last 6 miles were allllll downhill!!! HALLELUJAH!! And that felt soooo goood.:) I can't even tell you.

Here I am, approaching the dismount and transition area:

I made it!

[My timing chip didn't beep again as I crossed the mat - but again I went over it a second time and the people there said "ok you're ok" and I kept going, but this time I looked down and ran my finger around the velcro and lo and behold, there was no chip on there. Um. Well. All I really thought was that there wasn't anything I could do about it at this point. So. Huh.
No choice but to just keep going. . . ]

Only the run left to go! yahoo!

triathamom: swim

2011-09-27T08:25:00.006-06:00

So the morning of the race, we got up at 5 am, left at 5:30 and arrived at 6 am when the transition area was open. I wasn't sure if I really needed to be there that early, but since I had no clue what I was doing I wanted to be sure I wasn't rushed. Turned out to be a good thing to be there early so I could pick a good spot to put my bike and stuff. As we got closer to the start, people were kind of searching frantically for any open spots for their bikes, and I was glad that wasn't me.

It was chilly and I was nervous, so here I am after I got everything all settled, shivering and saying hello to Zac and the kids who were eating breakfast in the car.

Hanging out in the transition area:

I was reassured as I talked to some other ladies that I wasn't the only clueless one. I had prepared better than some. And even the really competitive looking gals seemed friendly.

Finally at 7:30 we headed into the pool.

Now this is where the fun begins. Do you see this?

This is only a partial glimpse of the 400-something swimmers crowded around the pool. The way this was supposed to work was that there would be 3 start groups of swimmers and you put yourself in whichever group you felt you belonged in: fast, medium or slow. How this turned out was that the person over the PA system just said "fast swimmers come to the front." And there was kind of a rush, push and shove (and lots of confusion over what's considered "fast") as these swimmers went to the front. Then, for the rest of us, there was lots of mingling and more confusion as we asked everyone around us "how fast are you going?" "how fast are you?" "what's your time?" and kind of moved ahead or behind people as we felt appropriate. It was a mess, really. And then there were crowds of people cutting ahead and moving to the front from the sidelines without any sort of knowledge of how fast they were swimming or anything. I was getting pretty frustrated with the whole thing, but at the end of it all I just kind of got stuck where I was and we were so crowded together it would have been impossible to move to a different spot had I even wanted to, without a whole lot of shoving. ugh.

Here's my cheering section, though. My mom came to support me too, but she's not in these pics.

One thing I hadn't considered as I envisioned how this would all go is how LOOOONG it would take to get all of us into the pool. We were zig-zagging down the lanes, so up and back one lane, move the next, up and back in that lane, move to the next, etc. And they were spacing the starts. And . . . it took an HOUR from the first start time before I was even in the pool. Waiting nervously, trying to stay loosened up, crowded with a bunch of people, and standing for that long was just not fun at all. We'd been standing by the pool for an hour and a half by the time I started!

But then . . . finally . . . I was able to get in the water (yay!!) and we lined up against the wall waiting for our turn to move into the first race lane, push off and start (me in the black swim cap).

I knew as soon as I got started that I was in the wrong "group" (as if there were any actual groups in the first place). I'd barely get going, getting into a good rhythm and pace, and I'd run into someone going waaaay slower. And I'd basically have to stop and tread water until I could pass them (and not run into someone coming up the other direction) or wait til we got to the end of the lane and get ahead of them before they took off again. I hated it.

The good thing was, it boosted my confidence that I really am a better swimmer than I often think of myself. Dang, I was a lot faster than most of these ladies. hahaha.;)

So, it was frustrating. But I tried not to let myself be too bothered by it. I knew my time wouldn't reflect how fast I could have gone. But - eh, oh well.

The worst thing though was that my timing chip felt like it was falling off. K, so the chip was slipped onto this velcro strap that was wrapped around my ankle. As I was swimming I could feel the velcro coming loose and sort of slapping around (which is really annoying when you're kicking). I was afraid I'd lose it completely. So at the end of a lane, I actually stopped and took it off, hoping to reattach it more securely. Big Mistake. It was really tricky getting it back on right in the water. I thought I got it back on though. And on I went (losing more time, though, of course from stopping).

Looking back on it, I can see that I must not have gotten it on correctly. The chip must have ended up on the edge of the velcro strap (seen hanging loose in this close-up of me leaving the swim) and fallen off in the pool.

But I didn't know that at the time.

I got to the transition area and dried off and I was incredibly relieved that it wasn't as cold as I had expected!! So I didn't need the running tights or thermal shirt I had brought with me and I got all set and took off on the bike.

The swim was the easy part for me - besides feeling a little shaky from the nerves, adrenaline, and some frustration during the swim, I didn't feel winded or too exerted. I knew the bike would be the tough part.

stay tuned . . .

triathamom: pre-race

2011-09-26T22:13:00.003-06:00

The night before the race, I went and got checked in. Picked up my swag bag with my race tshirt, my timing chip, my number bibs, and got my body markings stamped on me.

Feels official, doesn't it?
Race numbers on each arm:

(this one makes me laugh, because somehow the camera angle makes me look like I have Popeye biceps bigger than my head - hahaha. I am a lot stronger than I've ever been in my life, but I'm not that strong)

And my age on my calf. Never have I felt more proud to have my age flagrantly displayed.

(yep I'm flexing for the camera. Come now, wouldn't you?) ;)

And I gathered up all my gear. Checked and double-checked my list. Changed up my ipod running playlist. Charged it. Made sure I had clean socks. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Phew! All ready to go!

Yikes.

I'm a "triathamom!"

2011-09-26T13:06:00.003-06:00

(me, at the end of it all!)

I did it!

YAY!!

Most everything went about as well as I expected - and I'll tell you all about it soon!
:)

tomorrow!

2011-09-23T08:28:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is race day.
(remember this?)

And I am really nervous.
I have a list of 25 things to remember to do or bring.

And today I need to be feeling completely awesome, and nothing but. It's sort of not my natural state - haha - so it's hard work to get myself so psyched up.

Today I need to feel:

confident

strong

capable

prepared

beautiful

amazing

loved

admired

healthy

happy

And anything you can do to contribute to my efforts to feel this way would certainly be appreciated! Seriously.

I am fighting my monsters today.

ohh help . . .

Happy First Day of Fall

2011-09-23T08:20:00.002-06:00

It's officially my favorite time of year!

And, while nothing around me is looking like this yet (or ever will), I can't resist sharing these beautiful autumn pictures I've collected on my pinterest board (I'm sorry I can't credit each one right now - but none are mine). I had to choose from 28 of my favorites - these are just the ones that struck me this morning. :)

Have a beautiful day.

Love,

Kristen:)

oh, yes . . .

2011-09-19T19:03:00.002-06:00

"I have sought rest everywhere, and have found it nowhere, save in a little corner, with a little book."
-- Thomas à Kempis

(picture found here)

(I'm excited to start back into my reading round-ups and Book Addict's Bookclub now that summer is over and I can think again! yay)

Summer Fun {13}: 13 Songs of the Summer (and we're done!)

2011-09-18T11:14:00.006-06:00

Just for fun I'd thought I'd throw in my "summer playlist" for your enjoyment, as the grand summary of all things summery (wow - that was good, haha). Yes, this is an actual playlist I put together on my ipod. Zac laughed at me when I told him I was listening to some of these intentionally. You can laugh too, I don't mind.;) I won't even try to justify some of them by explaining to you how or why they got onto my ipod in the first place - but I will just say that these were some of the songs of my summer 2011. Songs I discovered or rediscovered, remind me of things I did, people I saw, places I went, or that I just seemed to be in the mood for more often than not. And yes, it is just coincidental that there were 13 songs on this list, and we are on the Summer Fun #13!! Amazing, isn't it? It was meant to be!

Enjoy the songs. (sorry this Astropuppees song is nowhere to be found on the internet)
And enjoy the random pretty pictures from some summer days.

What were you listening to this summer??

1. Peter Salett - Heart of Mine
2. Astropuppees - Lower the Line
3. The Jeff Healey Band - Stuck in the Middle with You
4. David Archuleta - Something Bout Love
5. Material Issue - Valerie Loves Me
6. Julian Lennon - Lucy
7. Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident

8. Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine
9. U2 - Magnificent
10. The Wallflowers - When You're On Top
11. Michael Franti and Spearhead - Say Hey
12. William Fitzsimmons - So This Is Goodbye
13. U2 - All I Want Is You

And now we are officially done with summer!!!

Hooray!

(I am soo ready to be done. Aren't you??) ;)

Summer Fun {12}

2011-09-18T10:43:00.004-06:00

The Swimming Pool

Over the last couple years, we've decided that it's probably more cost and time effective to pay for a pool membership rather than just pay to have the kids in swim lessons. The beginner lessons especially seem focused on just becoming comfortable in the water, putting your face in, floating etc. And just being exposed to the water, and being in it, moving in it, experimenting, getting around, I think kids naturally pick up on a lot of the early water skills by themselves. And also, knowing how to swim myself, I can help them here and there with some of the skills too, by going to the pool frequently during the summer.

So! Zac and I sort of set some mental goals for the kids to accomplish at the pool by the summer's end. Just to keep in mind and help them work towards so we can see that they're making progress.

Elisabeth - well, she takes to the water like a little fish. This year the pool added these climbing walls in the 4 ft and she had no fear whatsoever. She just climbed up as far as she could, jumped into the water, kicked herself to the surface and was ready to do it again.

(here you can also see Abigail jumping down from it)

The goal for Elisabeth was to get her to be able to lift her head up and breathe while she swims and I think she could do it at least once. She already dives in the water, does underwater flips, kicks with a kickboard, and "swims" as far as she can before stopping to get a breath, so we're pretty happy with her "water skills" thus far. ;) She even did a flip off the side of the 3 ft pool once . . . but I had to tell her that wasn't allowed because it's not safe.

At the beginning of the summer, Samuel was still insisting on wearing the life vests that the pool provides everytime he got in the water. So our first goal for him was to get him in the pool without it. And then to get his head under the water.

And he did it! At first he would dip his hair backward into the water and tell me he got his head wet (haha). Then he would tell me to "look away" and he would put his face under only when I wasn't looking. But by the end of the summer, he was dunking under water and even doing a few bobs! yay!! Ohh it feels so good to see progress!!:)

Isaac and Abigail - our goal was to get them to jump off the diving board and swim to the side. Actually, that was the original goal for Abigail but Isaac "jumped on board" too and accomplished it as well!

So at least we know that if they fell into some deep water, they'd be able to swim a short distance to save themselves. That's an important skill, right?

Anyway - I love the pool. I loved the times I could go swim laps. I loved just sitting in the water watching the kids. I loved teaching them how to play "Marco Polo" (or Marcolo Polo, as Samuel liked to say). And I loved watching them love it too.:)

Here is Zac throwing Samuel (something Samuel was terrified of doing for a long time!!).

And a partial shot of Elisabeth, the flying fish. :)

Did you get to some water this summer?

Summer Fun {11}

2011-09-12T16:00:00.000-06:00

1. homemade ice-cream-in-a-bag: check!

2. chunky rainbow crayons: check!

3. Homemade lemon Italian Ice (like Luigi's): Check! Check!

4. Caprisun and fruit slices popsicles: Check!

5. 2 silly kids insisting on wearing these "glasses" everywhere we went all summer long: oh yes. Check.

Summer Fun {10}

2011-09-09T17:00:00.000-06:00

[note: for some reason I'm encountering a major mind block against finishing up these summer posts. This one has taken me forever to write. But I'm still determined. I can't get on with fall until summer is fully out of my system, can I? No I cannot. ok. Bear with me.]

One of my biggies on "The Summer List" was to go to free outdoor concerts. There are actually a lot of options around and there is nothing that seems more perfect for summer nights than sitting out on a blanket listening to music. Especially good music. And, well, especially for free. I did manage to get the whole family out for that one rooftop concert - but there were a couple I really wanted to go to with just Zac. Salt Lake City offers a Twilight Concert Series and I was excited to see not just one, but two bands playing that I knew (score #1!) and liked (BIG score #2!!). I was determined to make it to at least one of these (Explosions in the Sky and The Decemberists). I especially really wanted to see Explosions in the Sky because I just thought that would be really cool to hear live. It's been sooooo long since I've intentionally gone to see a live band that I liked ($$ being the main factor). Like, hmmm let's say around 16 yrs maybe? yeah.

So, the date got closer . . . and I couldn't find a babysitter. Thought I'd go with a friend . . . and that didn't work out. And . . . still couldn't find a babysitter. So. Hm. Would I go alone? I really didn't want to. But . . . . hmm. I really wanted to go!! aahhh!

After some consideration (and trying to determine if my paranoia or my desire to go would win out), I just decided to go by myself.

(I know it's sort of silly that this was a big deal to me to go do this alone - but considering that I went through a stage a few years back when my anxiety and paranoia made it difficult for me to leave the house alone in the dark at all , I'd have to consider this an accomplishment.)

So on July 14th, a nice Thursday evening, I took the trax lightrail, walked from the stop, went in the park and found myself a nice little spot on the grass to sit before it started. When it started getting really crowded and the bands started, I moved up a little and just stood in the crowd, trying not to stand out too much. I felt old, more than anything. The crowd was much younger, and a little rowdy, and a lot more energetic.

But I was content to just stand and strain my neck to see as much as I could (why are there always so many tall people? am I really that short?? sheesh) and enjoy the music (no crowd surfing for me, folks - haha).

Here's a picture of what the view was like from the tall guy behind me who took the pic for me:

And here's the picture later that I took by holding my camera up and hoping for the best. Nope, that didn't work out so well.

And these are some of the official Twilight Concert Series photos (taken by a real photographer)

I was standing back by that flag pole somewhere - can you see me?? (haha - jk),

So, all in all, I'm glad I went. I'd have to say the smoking and drinking (of possibly assorted substances) got a little obnoxious - especially since they had announced that smoking was prohibited in the park. ha. Yeah right. So I don't think I'd go again and hang around all that if not for a band that I really really wanted to see. But I came home smiling to myself and filled with that unique kind of excited energy that comes from live music. There's something about being fully present in the music. And everyone else around you being intent on the same experience (ehhh, well mostly anyway). And the energy of a band wanting to perform well for a crowd. Not much else like it.

(postscript: Zac and I didn't make it to The Decemberists or any other outdoor concert - so I am glad I put forth the effort for this one. It was worth it.) :)

And if you want to go take a listen to one of my favorite songs by Explosions in the Sky, click this link (blogger is still being weird about embedding video):

http://youtu.be/JzIK5FaC38w

"the winds have welcomed you with softness": in a hot air balloon!

2011-09-04T18:20:00.009-06:00

Once upon a time, 20 yrs ago, in a land far far away, I was asked to make a list. The title of the list was "what I would do if I was not limited by time, money, ability and had the support of the my family." And #1 on my list (out of 69 items). . . was a hot air balloon. Well, specifically I wrote on that list that I wanted to own a hot air balloon. But I would have to suppose that the implicit goal in that desire on my 16 yr old wish list was to at least someday ride in one.

(maybe just ignore #2 and #3, by the way . . . I'm not sure I still want to do those - hehe)

And now I have!

It's something I've always wanted to do. Zac and I spent part of our honeymoon in Park City where they do a lot of hot air ballooning and I had wanted to do it then. But we didn't.
But then when I saw this Daily Deal deal a few months ago for more than half off for a balloon ride for 2, I just couldn't pass it up. We don't get away for our anniversary very often, or do much of anything really. We have years and years of dates, and gifts, and special events kind of built up. I figured this should count for at least a few of them. ;)

The morning in Park City was beautiful, cool and clear.

12 passengers fit in the basket, surprisingly

And up we go . . . We flew up to about 3000 ft at first and then just floated around a bit. The views of the surrounding areas were absolutely incredible.

It was a very calm day so we didn't cover much ground distance very quickly (at least it didn't appear so from that height). It hardly felt like we were moving much at all. The ascent was very smooth and it was so amazing to be up so high.

There you can see our sister balloon in the distance. This ballooning company sent up 2 balloons this day.At one point we were as high as 5000 ft above ground, as the pilot was looking for air currents to bring us somewhere we could land. Usually on a tourist flight, he said you only go up high once because it takes so much fuel, but we ended up going high 3 times so we got an extra bonus (but then he also joked about running out of fuel before we landed - haha).

After about an hour in the air, we landed gently on the ground. Celebrated our flight with champagne and/or orange juice.

And whoever caught the champagne cork got this little prize! Do you see? It's a balloon! :) (Zac caught it, or picked it up off the ground where it fell - but it still counted)

And then we got these cool certificates with The Balloonists Prayer printed on it which he had recited as part of our post-flight toast.
I love that. :)

(mostly coincidentally, this was also the 18th anniversary of the day we met, 18 yrs ago. So we've now almost known each other for longer than we ever lived not knowing each other. Kind of amazing. So this was a pretty cool way to celebrate that momentous occasion, don't you think? I think so.) :)

swim bike run: an update

2011-09-02T17:00:00.001-06:00

So, some of you may (or may not) be wondering how my training is going for this triathlon I'm going to attempt. Getting into a routine has been a challenge for me because I love my zumba and didn't want to give it up, and I love what Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred was doing for me, so I didn't want to stop that either. Problem was I was already doing those 3 days a week each (combined with walking on my Jillian days). So - I had to cut out a day of each to make room for swimming, biking, and running. Yeah. haha. The Jillian workout has 3 levels so I had been doing each level once a week, but now I rotate through each level but only getting 2 a week. And then, figuring out how to space things out so I'm not completing killing myself was a little tricky, but this is the plan I came up with:

Mon - Run (30-45 min - I don't run the whole time though. It's about half run/walk right now)

Tues - Swim (20-35 min - plus 15-30 min each way travel time to pool, grrr) and Jillian (30 min strength, cardio and abs)

Wed - Zumba (1 hr)

Thurs - Swim (30-35 min) Bike (45 min) Run (30-40 min) Since school has started, I've been swimming in the morning and then doing my bike and run in the evening (since half-day kindergarten doesn't give me enough time to get it all done at once).

Fri - Zumba (1 hr, plus abs)

Sat - Bike (12 miles - which takes me a little over 1 hr) and Jillian (30 min strength, cardio and abs)

Sun - DAY OFF!! Phew!;)

Combining Jillian with my longer bike ride on Sat has been hard so I've missed a couple, but still trying.

What surprises me is how hard the bike riding is for me. That continues to be the hardest part for me and I don't really know why. People talk like riding 12 miles should be a cakewalk - but, man. Of all 3, that is the only one where I feel my muscles just burning and I get waves of nausea and chills at times. Only time ever in my life, actually, that I've ever felt that way working out. I don't like it. I can feel swimming getting easier for me and I love it. I swam on a community rec swim team until I was about 14 and so I'm pretty confident in my technique, at least. I'm just going to do breaststroke in the race since that's the easiest for me, but I've been incorporating more and more freestyle into my laps and it feels good. Really good. Running - well, I've been icing my shins each time and it's never really much fun for me (and sometimes downright painful), but alternating running and walking, I know I can get through a 5K (sort of).

But biking. Ugh. That's the most discouraging part. About halfway through, everytime, I get an onslaught of mental monsters wanting to convince me there is no way I can swim, then do this, and then run. This is also about the point where I'm struggling and fighting up a neverending hill and I feel like I'm going to die. Plus sometimes it aggravates my sciatic nerve which really makes me unhappy. So. Yuck.

Well anyway, yesterday during my bike ride I experienced some exciting firsts. First off, I almost got hit by a car for the first time ever. This guy apparently just decided that the 4-way stop really didn't apply to him. He wasn't even at the stop sign yet when I came through the intersection and he still had to slam on his brakes. Really?!? You weren't already SLOWING down and looking for traffic when approaching a busy 4 way stop and bike trail?!? Idiots have a way of ruining my day sometimes. I yelled at him as I passed and since they had their windows down, I think they probably heard me. Seriously. Ugh. I have a little bit of paranoia about crashing on my bike anyway. Ever since I crashed in 7th grade and shattered my elbow (ask me to show it to you sometime - it's still nastily deformed) - it's one of my greatest fears. And that doesn't even cover the possibility of colliding with a car.

And the other first was getting a flat tire. Luckily I was about 100 ft from my house at the end of my bike ride, but they say it's a good idea to know how to fix these things in case they should happen to you during the race. And now I've got my chance to learn! yay. ha.

Quite the eventful evening ride.

And then during the run, I decided I would share with you a favorite running song from my current running playlist:

Run Baby Run by The Primitives. ;) It seems appropriate. (And the beat is just right for my pace.)
Blogger isn't letting me embed it right now, though, so a link will have to do. Enjoy.

http://youtu.be/G4OjEr8rUxs

Run, Baby, Run. And bike. And swim. ;)

Summer Fun {9}

2011-08-28T18:30:00.000-06:00

Family Hike! July 25th (marked off the summer list)

We hiked up to Lake Solitude. For those who might like to know where this is, it's up Big Cottonwood Canyon - starting at Brighton Ski Resort and Silver Lake and then taking the trail heading off from the lake. This was a very nice moderate 3 mile out-and-back hike. Some challenging parts, but nothing scary and not too hard for the kids. I like having a destination to reach when hiking, rather than just "let's follow this trail for and hr and turn around," so getting to the lake was nice. There was a cave that enthralled the kids. We saw a mama and baby moose from across the lake. Abigail did some meditating. We ate snacks. The kids chased some squirrels. We found a patch of snow (in July!). And Miss Elisabeth conked out on the way home.

A great summer family outing!

Counting this one a success. :)

three pictures

2011-08-28T10:06:00.003-06:00

Beautiful clouds from my back deck yesterday :)

Abigail had a violin recital yesterday!
This is the first recital she's performed in somewhere other than someone's home. She played Gavotte from Mignon (suzuki Book 2) and she did a really great job.

And look what Zac did! We have an unusually exceptionally tall garage. Seriously. It's something like 14 ft tall (they lowered the floor to decrease the slope of our driveway to make it acceptable to code - but kept the ceiling at the same height). So we've been meaning to do something to take advantage of all this vertical space. Someday. I guess we've been meaning to do that for the 9.5 yrs we've lived here. Sigh. But we finally did it! We had to borrow a ladder to reach up there. And we will finally move the Christmas and camping stuff out of our storage in the basement and put it here instead! I'm very excited. Sometime we'll even add shelves to the storage in the basement so all those remaining buckets will be more accessible as well! wohoo!
Shelves everywhere, everywhere! :)

(still haven't finished the summer posts, btw. Hang in there for me, ok?)

first days

2011-08-25T21:05:00.005-06:00

Today was Elisabeth's first day of kindergarten! The other kids started on Mon. so it was torture for her to wait for her first day - but we made it!

She was very excited - a little nervous - but mostly excited. She and I had lunch at McDonald's, just the 2 of us, to celebrate and she loved that. We even "went in the restaurant" (as she said) which was a rare treat for her. :) She struggles a little bit more academically than the older kids did (aside from Samuel with his unique struggles) but I am trying to just let her go at her own pace and not worry about it.

If there's anything I've learned in my 12 yrs of this parenting gig, it's that no one can force, persuade or push any child to be something other than they are. And they come with their own strengths and weaknesses, their own talents and quirks and personalities. As their mom, it's my privilege to get to know them and hopefully help them on their way. I work on helping them reach whatever their full potential is as magnificent developing humans, and accepting them for who they are and where they're at in any given time.

Samuel started first grade at the charter school. He is also very excited to finally be at the same school as his siblings! Hooray! He is doing really well so far, amazingly, surprisingly well. We think that the combination of being at the school with his siblings and being held back a grade have increased his confidence substantially. He just isn't exhibited the anxiety symptoms that have been such a stumbling block for him in the past, so I am just really hoping it continues but, also, that they won't cut off all his support either. Tricky. But we have a lot of hope for this year!!

Isaac started 5th grade. Nothing really new happening for him. And so far he's been self-motivated and responsible in getting his homework done right after school, which is one of the things I absolutely love the best about this kid. Yay for one child I don't have to worry about in school (for now!).

And Abigail started 7th grade. Her first year of middle school, and first year in public school after her first 7 years at the charter school. Her first time riding a school bus, changing classes, using a locker. Phew, it's kind of overwhelming! I know she's going to be ok. She's going to get the hang of having A and B days (4 different classes every other day) and the most ridiculous policy ever of not being able to bring backpacks to class (they leave them in the locker and can bring a small bag with pens etc to class). But, wow. These first few days have been an adventure (leaving her violin in the hallway when she wasn't sure where to put it, missing the bus home, forgetting her assignments, not being able to get her locker open, etc). Ohh, she is such a great girl - she has so many amazing talents and abilities. I just hope hope hope this year will turn out to be a good one for her.

Another new thing this year was making these little stuffed felt hearts:

Aren't they cute? Got the idea off Pinterest, of course.

Well, then I added my idea of giving them to the kids as soft fuzzies filled with love for them to hold onto or just look at or touch in their pocket to remember how much they are loved when they feel nervous or unsure on their first days.

I goof up in hugely major ways on most days as a mom. You're well aware of that, I know. But sometimes, every once in a while, I feel like I do small things right. And I hope they remember those, too. I hope they remember times like these when I stayed up struggling to stitch and stuff silly little felt hearts for them to take to school. hahaha. Because I love them soo much. :)

I think maybe I should have also made one for myself. I've had at least one meltdown so far this week when I could have used a little extra comfort. It's been a tough week! Lots of nervous energy, paperwork, new schedule and routines, etc etc. We are all trying to adjust. Wish us luck!

And how's back to school going for you??

Summer Fun {8}

2011-08-17T21:14:00.005-06:00

Jumping at Monkey Island with Groupon deals and Roller Skating for free! wohoo! (and checked off the list!)

Kids are getting so good at skating.

Love it. :)

Summer Fun {7}

2011-08-17T20:55:00.004-06:00

Visit from old friends!

Mary and I became good friends in VA back in 2000-2001. We both had young families with 1 child living in small apartments (I soon became pregnant and had #2). Then we both moved and left VA sometime the summer of 2001.

Now, we each have 4 kids

and we've kept in touch over the time and distance and still love to get together and chat any chance we can get.

yay for friends! :)

Summer Fun {6}

2011-08-17T20:44:00.004-06:00

4th of July!!

(better late than never, right?)

Summer Fun {5}

2011-08-16T16:07:00.006-06:00

The same day as the balloons (July 1) - we went back down to Provo to catch a little bit of this Colonial Village that they do . ..

And also go to this free Rooftop Concert. Going to free outdoor concerts was big on my list for the summer and I was super excited to go see Sarah Sample - whose music I already love (I posted about her here). And then they were doing the entire Beatles' Abbey Road album. Different singers, or combination of singers (check it out here). But Beatles' songs! The entire album! Did you know that The Beatles are one of the very few music bands that Zac and I both agree on completely? And did you know that one of my lifetime goals has been to see a Beatles cover band? So, of course we couldn't miss this. Even the kids were excited to hear Beatles songs. I love that about my little family. :)

(ok, now watch out, lots of name-dropping and linkage in this post, folks. Just cuz I feel like it)

And look! Here's the marvelous CJane getting the show started (you know her, right?and here's her blog post about the awesomeness that was that night):

sarah sample:

our kids were so thrilled to hear the music live that I "have on my ipod" - haha.

And look! can you see? There's NieNie of the NieNie Dialogues up there with some of her crew. I was laughing at myself for how idiotically excited this little glimpse made me. haha. So easily star-struck am I, I guess.

And then, Abbey Road begins:

these guys there are from Fictionist. And that guitarist guy with mass of curly hair and skinny black jeans? He is Hum in this blog that I love to read (written by his wife) - I'd recommend it. :)

An especially unflattering pic of me and Zac:

And out little brood of happy concert-goers:

It is true that we left early so as to get the kidlings to bed at a somewhat reasonable time (before 11?) so we actually didn't hear the entire album performed. But it was worth it for what we heard. So much fun.

(and can I get a little virtual applause for dragging the fam along to do things that really I just want to do but creating some really great family memories, even though they aren't easy things to drag everyone along to do? yes? phew. thanks.) :)

Summer Fun {4}: up, up and away

2011-08-16T15:31:00.004-06:00

I think I inherited my love of hot air balloons from my dad. I can't even tell for sure why that would be, except that I know he encouraged me to read The Twenty-One Balloons which became one of my most favorite all-time books.

At any rate, I've wanted to go see the Hot Air Balloons as part of Provo's Freedom Festival for years and years and years. Getting the kids up at 5:30 to get there was always a big deterrent. Getting me up at 5:30 to go down there was a big deterrent (esp when there were babies keeping me up all hours of the night). But this year, I was determined. This was the year we'd do it. I put it on the Summer List.
And it got crossed of the list!

It was so amazing.

walking around all the balloons being inflated

and seeing the Darth Vader balloon, then meeting Darth Vader and Storm Troopers

it took Samuel a really long time before he felt brave enough to go shake their hand, but he looked so proud of himself after he'd done it :)

watching the balloons launch was incredible, so beautiful

I loved it so much. And I know it was an experience the kids will remember forever. And I love that.

(and . . . guess what?!? Zac and I are going on our very own hot-air balloon ride on Sept 3!!! YIPPEEE!! I found an amazing LivingSocial deal that I couldn't pass up (more than half off normal price), so we're calling it an anniversary/birthday/Christmas/whatever gift. We spent part of our honeymoon near Park City where they do these balloon rides and I had wanted to do it then, but we didn't get the chance. Soo, I am unbelievably excited for this chance! Zac is . . . less than excited (a little afraid of heights and balloon crashes) but he's doing it with me because he loves me that much. Which makes me love him all the more. Oh, what's more romantic than balloon rides? Nothing, that's what.) :)